I was perusing through Suki's blog and I came across a tag. Which basically means I am bunking work again... but its allgood. I really don't want to do most of the things that I am doing right now, one of those might read this post and allow himself a laugh at my expense. Smile, friend. I shall have the last one.
So SUKI.... AHEM.
This is the point when I say... I don't like you. Because YOU, My dear Sister-in-Law... have not BLOGROLLED Me. I do not like you I repeat.
Tag :
Ten things you wish you could say to people right now ( don’t take names)
10. Go away.
9. Leave me alone.
8. Please do the aforementioned before I get annoyed.
7. Come back.
6. Please.
5. I don't like this.
4. Do you think this is a good idea?
3. I think somebody shrunk your head a bit more than my liking. Or are you always like this?
2. Pathetic. Sad.
1. (With gleaming eyes) Should you lose weight?
NO.
Nine things about yourself
9. Bike/car rides. Especially in the middle of the night. I heart.
8. A smile. Because you are standing there with your heart in your smile, looking at me as if I am the only thing in this whole wide world.
7. No judge of character I am. I don't like evaluating people. Completely makes me feel like a dissected animal.
6. I detest backbiters. And Liars. I'm very honest. With everything. Whatever I feel, I do, I express.
5. If I like something, I tell. If I love, I don't. Queer, right? But its like that.
4. I actually believe in true love and soulmates. (Yes, right!! But still...)
3. I am very quiet when I want to be. Comfortable silences I have shared with some people and they are something that I cherish.
2. I am a people person. It means I love being with people. I like them. In general. But I am also very random. I flit. From one to another.
1. I am. Panu. Myself. Its all here and I love me. A lot.
Eight ways to win your heart
8. Just be yourself.
7. Don't lie.
6. Do something simple, but it will show you care.
5. Smile. In the way that makes me feel I am the only girl in the world.
4. Listen.
3. Talk to me. Tell me who you are.
2. Don't let me go. Because when I go, I don't return.
1. Love me. No matter what, or who, or why... just do. Don't question me. Just accept me.
Seven things that cross your mind a lot
7. Why am I here?
6. What am I doing?
5. Am I sure this is okay?
4. Did I just say too much?
3. Is he/she okay with me (this I ask my friends quite a lot)?
2. Is this what I want?
1. When will you come?
Six things you wish you never did
6. Ran away.
5. Loved somebody so deep that it hurt.
4. Trusted someone. Who was not worth it.
3. Like chocolates. You are the bane of my bod.
2. Made friends with Kaichu. I cannot accept how incredible you are. I shall kill myself of inferiority complex one day.
1. Fallen for YOU.
Five Turn offs
5. Bad breath.
4. Passivity.
3. Lost-soul dialogue.
2. Armists.
1. Acid-tongue.
Four turn ons
4. Silence. On the other side of the phone, or on the other side of the room, when I can imagine/see exactly what he feels.
3. A good perfume. Especially male ones. Denim. But I also love the smell of roses (yes, typically female... but there you go!!)... and the slight scent of cinnamon. Also of lemon. And Lavender.
2. Tattoos.
1. A grin. At a right moment. Accompanied with a little gleam off the corner of one eye.
Three things you want to do before you die
3. Bungee Jump.
2. Love like a romantic. Effing Hell!! I shall go back and jump off the nearest cliff.
1. Teach. As a prof. Put a doctor before my name.
Two smileys that describe you
=))
;)
One confession
I WANT to go to Goa. With Peep and K and P and D. Nobody else.
I tag No one. Thank you Suki.
April 02, 2008
March 26, 2008
"Sometimes we love people so much that we have to be numb to it cause if we actually felt it, it would kill us. That doesn't make you a bad person. It just means your hearts too big."
- R.C. Boys
It just hurts sometimes and you don't know why. This itch that becomes a raw scraping wound. So you put ice on it and wait for it to die down. It doesn't hurt then. But you know. You just know when the ice melts and its back again.
I can't stop loving, but. I tried. Truly I did. But I can't. So this here is my state. I am.
I can't stop loving, but. I tried. Truly I did. But I can't. So this here is my state. I am.
March 25, 2008
Reporting an Incident
It was a cold day in December.
She sat on the rickety chair and could not believe her eyes when she read that 718 Quintal of rice have been wasted within 16 kilometers of a place where people died of starvation.
She sat and read the report that suggested that three-months' worth food grains should not be transported to hard-to-access places during the monsoons when there would be floods and the material would be stored under open air. She retched as she read that most of it had to be disposed off because of a rodent infestation, but whatever the villagers could salvage from the rodents, they ate. They fell sick too. Plague. Half the village was no more in a few days. But then, these were landless workers. They did not have land. They did not have possession.
The report went on to the poor Anganwadi worker who wore her blue sari and carried out her duties with rigorous faith. She was not paid for her extra efforts to make the food that was doled out for free more tasty. Rather, she paid out of her own pocket to feed the 150-odd people who needed food. If not rice, then the water in which it had been boiled fyan. The poor woman was finally paid some of the money when she displayed receipts for whatever she could get to the distant district office after she'd been there multiple times. And her efforts were discouraged.
"Gorib lokeder eto ichhe thaka bhalo noy." (The poor should not have so many wishes) was what was written by an officer.
Picture this. India is no longer a developing country. This has stopped. And now we look forward to our future. We look.
She sat on the rickety chair and could not believe her eyes when she read that 718 Quintal of rice have been wasted within 16 kilometers of a place where people died of starvation.
She sat and read the report that suggested that three-months' worth food grains should not be transported to hard-to-access places during the monsoons when there would be floods and the material would be stored under open air. She retched as she read that most of it had to be disposed off because of a rodent infestation, but whatever the villagers could salvage from the rodents, they ate. They fell sick too. Plague. Half the village was no more in a few days. But then, these were landless workers. They did not have land. They did not have possession.
The report went on to the poor Anganwadi worker who wore her blue sari and carried out her duties with rigorous faith. She was not paid for her extra efforts to make the food that was doled out for free more tasty. Rather, she paid out of her own pocket to feed the 150-odd people who needed food. If not rice, then the water in which it had been boiled fyan. The poor woman was finally paid some of the money when she displayed receipts for whatever she could get to the distant district office after she'd been there multiple times. And her efforts were discouraged.
"Gorib lokeder eto ichhe thaka bhalo noy." (The poor should not have so many wishes) was what was written by an officer.
Picture this. India is no longer a developing country. This has stopped. And now we look forward to our future. We look.
March 19, 2008
Armist.
So where was I? Oh yes.
I was on a public bus. Its one of those nicer ones where you get to sit by the large window that keep on streaming all the polluted air in and you breathe in and out, listening to soft rock and basically feel like going to sleep. Around eight in the evening, this is quite a common scenario when you live the life of Panu. That is, when you are not trying to kill your baby sister with a blunt knife or when you are trying to make head or tail or any other part of anatomy (Insert name here) of course.
Umm, okay, so there I was sitting peacefully... there were very few people who were sitting in the bus and lots of empty window seats (Incredible windows, I daresay. Huge, with only one rod to stop me from falling out.... and it has to be pretty huge for me to fall off!)... yes, yes, You are in love with this bus already. If you are not, thats fine too.
All of a sudden, this man just sits beside me. In his end twenties, this guy is handsome, in a florid, rice-eater sort of way. Me not really like.
So why me? I ask myself. Why not the entire bus which has window seats?
Whatever, I go back looking outside.
About three minutes later, I hear a stilted... "Hehekkhiyuj Meeeheee" and I looked at him.
"What?" I ask, with raised eyebrow.
"Do you believe in astrology?"
Dammit. Weakness one. Shit. I curse. "Yes. I mean. A bit."
Dude gets all smiles. Oh Ef. Wrong Answer.
"I want to do something, please. If you don't mind. Will you please let me do something? "
OhefohEfohefOHEFFFFFFffffffff........ nononono no Panu no rey no nononono.....
"What?" I ask.
"I am a palmist. Actually. I am someone who does this by touching the arm. Would you let me see your nature?? Please??" puppy dog eyes that says...Pretty Please with sugar on top?
No no no. Don't fall for that one. Don't FALL FOR THAT ONE....
"How do you do that?"
Curiosity is a bad thing. It killed the cat. And I am a pussy at that.
In reply, florid armist grabs hold of my upper arm through my top. He gives my arm muscles a squeeze and (pant pant) says "You are pursuing science."
"Nope."
"No wait... Commerce"
"No.
"Arts."
Oh WOW. HOW DID YOU KNOW? I could be so many more things apart from that!! Like a sucker. With the words "SUCK ME" written on my forehead!!!
"You have passed your Grads?"
"Um. Yes. I have."
"Oh good." Man brightens visibly. "You are very creative. You paint, right?"
"Um no. Actually, I can't. Eki Eki can I have my arm back please?"
"You should pursue media. That's your line. You should be a set designer."
Sure. I can so totally imagine you in a microwave, being gently revolved with a touch of rosemary. And maybe some white wine while we are at it.
"Oh. Can I have my arm back?" This time I extract arm. Too disgusting touchwise. Man grabs arm. I shake it off. Ignore The Guy.
"Please let me tell you some more about you... please? You are very stubborn, you know."
He He. Stoppit awlready.
Ignore Mode On. I look at him. "Please go. I don't want this."
Man tries to say something else. Looks at my eyes. Leaves. Go Go, and DON'T return.
Yes I have sucker written all over me right now. I have been arm-handled.
I was on a public bus. Its one of those nicer ones where you get to sit by the large window that keep on streaming all the polluted air in and you breathe in and out, listening to soft rock and basically feel like going to sleep. Around eight in the evening, this is quite a common scenario when you live the life of Panu. That is, when you are not trying to kill your baby sister with a blunt knife or when you are trying to make head or tail or any other part of anatomy (Insert name here) of course.
Umm, okay, so there I was sitting peacefully... there were very few people who were sitting in the bus and lots of empty window seats (Incredible windows, I daresay. Huge, with only one rod to stop me from falling out.... and it has to be pretty huge for me to fall off!)... yes, yes, You are in love with this bus already. If you are not, thats fine too.
All of a sudden, this man just sits beside me. In his end twenties, this guy is handsome, in a florid, rice-eater sort of way. Me not really like.
So why me? I ask myself. Why not the entire bus which has window seats?
Whatever, I go back looking outside.
About three minutes later, I hear a stilted... "Hehekkhiyuj Meeeheee" and I looked at him.
"What?" I ask, with raised eyebrow.
"Do you believe in astrology?"
Dammit. Weakness one. Shit. I curse. "Yes. I mean. A bit."
Dude gets all smiles. Oh Ef. Wrong Answer.
"I want to do something, please. If you don't mind. Will you please let me do something? "
OhefohEfohefOHEFFFFFFffffffff........ nononono no Panu no rey no nononono.....
"What?" I ask.
"I am a palmist. Actually. I am someone who does this by touching the arm. Would you let me see your nature?? Please??" puppy dog eyes that says...Pretty Please with sugar on top?
No no no. Don't fall for that one. Don't FALL FOR THAT ONE....
"How do you do that?"
Curiosity is a bad thing. It killed the cat. And I am a pussy at that.
In reply, florid armist grabs hold of my upper arm through my top. He gives my arm muscles a squeeze and (pant pant) says "You are pursuing science."
"Nope."
"No wait... Commerce"
"No.
"Arts."
Oh WOW. HOW DID YOU KNOW? I could be so many more things apart from that!! Like a sucker. With the words "SUCK ME" written on my forehead!!!
"You have passed your Grads?"
"Um. Yes. I have."
"Oh good." Man brightens visibly. "You are very creative. You paint, right?"
"Um no. Actually, I can't. Eki Eki can I have my arm back please?"
"You should pursue media. That's your line. You should be a set designer."
Sure. I can so totally imagine you in a microwave, being gently revolved with a touch of rosemary. And maybe some white wine while we are at it.
"Oh. Can I have my arm back?" This time I extract arm. Too disgusting touchwise. Man grabs arm. I shake it off. Ignore The Guy.
"Please let me tell you some more about you... please? You are very stubborn, you know."
He He. Stoppit awlready.
Ignore Mode On. I look at him. "Please go. I don't want this."
Man tries to say something else. Looks at my eyes. Leaves. Go Go, and DON'T return.
Yes I have sucker written all over me right now. I have been arm-handled.
March 16, 2008
Mado
Intoxicating. Mado. Mado............
Intriguing. Right from day One. PM's Tuition.
Mado Mado.....
The day we met after class. Saru and Saddy saddled between us. There was no one else.
He came in much late. He looked and loved you.
I stared at you. Mado. I was speechless.
Three years past.
A broken, whispered "no" and I was shattered.
Mado on the other side of the net. Sitting, staring blankly at the screen. No more was the dream
And one evening... I saw a mad girl screaming.
A bone-crushing hug, and I was healed.
The stars in your eyes now. On the phone you imparted the news.
And I was speechless.
Now. You are someone else. Slightly same, but still someone else. And I love you.
All the same.
Mado. Mado. My Mado.
Ask nothing more of me, sweet,
All I can give you, I give..............
Intriguing. Right from day One. PM's Tuition.
Mado Mado.....
The day we met after class. Saru and Saddy saddled between us. There was no one else.
He came in much late. He looked and loved you.
I stared at you. Mado. I was speechless.
Three years past.
A broken, whispered "no" and I was shattered.
Mado on the other side of the net. Sitting, staring blankly at the screen. No more was the dream
And one evening... I saw a mad girl screaming.
A bone-crushing hug, and I was healed.
The stars in your eyes now. On the phone you imparted the news.
And I was speechless.
Now. You are someone else. Slightly same, but still someone else. And I love you.
All the same.
Mado. Mado. My Mado.
Ask nothing more of me, sweet,
All I can give you, I give..............
March 10, 2008
I want You... I'm not gonna cry.
I need you. But then, there is this thing deep inside of me that I hate about me. Its someone else inside me and I hate that core.
The Key
Dream about me for the rest of your days
Like lightning tearing the darkness
With the jagged light, enough to stun.
Why is it always this way?
The frightening feeling of emptiness deep within
That threatens to encapsulate the very deph of me
But no, there lies the hope of the broken images that flit
Across the bottom of my ragged feet
Tears me apart with the force of truth
The light fantastic, the light so incadescently bright
The dream of something better, far away
In the distant fairylands
That beckons me to let go
Of the control I insist
On my self
Tear apart the seams of my being
And let loose the beast within
The darkness within that threatens to choke
My spirit.
I stand in the middle of nowhere
Between the darkness and light
And I search for the key
That would merge them into grey.
And I shall fade into sepia-sweet memories
Live and die within those bounds
Pounding the walls to let my self free from it all
And turn away to rise,
Then slowly fall.
The Key
Dream about me for the rest of your days
Like lightning tearing the darkness
With the jagged light, enough to stun.
Why is it always this way?
The frightening feeling of emptiness deep within
That threatens to encapsulate the very deph of me
But no, there lies the hope of the broken images that flit
Across the bottom of my ragged feet
Tears me apart with the force of truth
The light fantastic, the light so incadescently bright
The dream of something better, far away
In the distant fairylands
That beckons me to let go
Of the control I insist
On my self
Tear apart the seams of my being
And let loose the beast within
The darkness within that threatens to choke
My spirit.
I stand in the middle of nowhere
Between the darkness and light
And I search for the key
That would merge them into grey.
And I shall fade into sepia-sweet memories
Live and die within those bounds
Pounding the walls to let my self free from it all
And turn away to rise,
Then slowly fall.
February 29, 2008
I got tagged. Quite unsuspectingly by This Person. I was quite innocuously going through blog after blog when I read the post and fell for the game. Damn the GHM (Georgette Heyer Man).
I fell in love with Georgette Heyer when I was a wee lass of 14. My friend Ria was an addict, and she got me hooked by providing me my first one, called The Spanish Bride. Needless to say, I was quite charmed by Juana and Harry, and from then on, went through them like a warm knife through butter. It took me to college street when I was in Class X. I would go with 10 rupees in my pocket, roam around, get myself dirty with the grime coated books that the book seller would try to sell me at 15 rupees but I would staunchly stick to 7 (because the return bus ticket cost 3 rupees). In the end, I would go home, the proud owner of one book.
One book led to two, three... and soon I realized that I was gathering quite a collection.
Anyway, back to my story about the GHM. I fell in love with Vidal, the young Marquis of Devil's Cub. I was enamoured by this bad boy simply because I have a thing for a smattering of goodness in roguery. Tom Jones was my type, Byron was my type, Mickey Rourke was my type. I always had the dream of charming a bad boy to fall for me. Of taming a tough guy.
God, I sound like the blurb of a Mills and Boon. But then again, its my Mills and Boon. I read them too. The more outrageous the better. It reminds me of those impossibly scary teen age when I was nothing but a mass of quaking nerves, waiting on the threshold of adulthood with bated breath, waiting... watching people all around her fall in love, and be "happily ever after"(or so they thought then) and waiting.
I still wait. I know he will come. Some day.
I fell in love with Georgette Heyer when I was a wee lass of 14. My friend Ria was an addict, and she got me hooked by providing me my first one, called The Spanish Bride. Needless to say, I was quite charmed by Juana and Harry, and from then on, went through them like a warm knife through butter. It took me to college street when I was in Class X. I would go with 10 rupees in my pocket, roam around, get myself dirty with the grime coated books that the book seller would try to sell me at 15 rupees but I would staunchly stick to 7 (because the return bus ticket cost 3 rupees). In the end, I would go home, the proud owner of one book.
One book led to two, three... and soon I realized that I was gathering quite a collection.
Anyway, back to my story about the GHM. I fell in love with Vidal, the young Marquis of Devil's Cub. I was enamoured by this bad boy simply because I have a thing for a smattering of goodness in roguery. Tom Jones was my type, Byron was my type, Mickey Rourke was my type. I always had the dream of charming a bad boy to fall for me. Of taming a tough guy.
God, I sound like the blurb of a Mills and Boon. But then again, its my Mills and Boon. I read them too. The more outrageous the better. It reminds me of those impossibly scary teen age when I was nothing but a mass of quaking nerves, waiting on the threshold of adulthood with bated breath, waiting... watching people all around her fall in love, and be "happily ever after"(or so they thought then) and waiting.
I still wait. I know he will come. Some day.
February 28, 2008
Because I do not hope to turn...
Ah well, I turned.
Yes. This is one of those posts.
So where do I begin? Oh, ok. Enough with the tags and emo things. I like them a lot and they will keep coming back, but well, as a good friend of mine said (and I agreed) :
"I have a Dream. A Wet Dream."
So the Mother's pissed with me because *apparently* I've been the perfect example of the Disgraceful Daughter who *shock yourself please* comes home at 10 p.m. in the night, wearing *GASP... LOOKIT THAT* a shameless grin on her face and a random apology, and without so much a by-your-effing-leave opens the fridge, takes out a few rashers of bacon and calmly fries them at high heat.
PORK IN THE HOUSE!! PIG ALERT!!!
And this glutton lifts up her eyes, eyes her, casts her eyes down and chews some more of the greasy, crispy-chewy bacon that she'd painstakingly acquired from New Market.
In other news, a friend of mine OD'd on Grass. Now that this topic has come up, let me tell you, its (as far as I have observed) impossible to OD on Grass. On further inspection it was revealed that the Grass was accompanied with a few drinks of vodka+rum+fine irish whiskey+ chocolate-chip Icecream and Cocaine.
Even without the final ingredient, the recipe is enough to give a girl a cholesterol attack.
Someone described me as warm and fuzzy. So now I am a myopic thermal blanket. Ah well, if its too cold I can always wrap myself around me.
Am I making any sense in this post?
Did'nt think so too.
But its okay. Pierce Brosnan's on TV. No I will not ask him to get down. He is right now effing the daylights out of Rene Russo. (You got it... its the Thomas Crown Affair. And its UNCENSORED because its on Cable).
Let me just sigh for a few moment and think about a certain butt while you shake your head and curse yourself for reading crap.
Yes. This is one of those posts.
So where do I begin? Oh, ok. Enough with the tags and emo things. I like them a lot and they will keep coming back, but well, as a good friend of mine said (and I agreed) :
"I have a Dream. A Wet Dream."
So the Mother's pissed with me because *apparently* I've been the perfect example of the Disgraceful Daughter who *shock yourself please* comes home at 10 p.m. in the night, wearing *GASP... LOOKIT THAT* a shameless grin on her face and a random apology, and without so much a by-your-effing-leave opens the fridge, takes out a few rashers of bacon and calmly fries them at high heat.
PORK IN THE HOUSE!! PIG ALERT!!!
And this glutton lifts up her eyes, eyes her, casts her eyes down and chews some more of the greasy, crispy-chewy bacon that she'd painstakingly acquired from New Market.
In other news, a friend of mine OD'd on Grass. Now that this topic has come up, let me tell you, its (as far as I have observed) impossible to OD on Grass. On further inspection it was revealed that the Grass was accompanied with a few drinks of vodka+rum+fine irish whiskey+ chocolate-chip Icecream and Cocaine.
Even without the final ingredient, the recipe is enough to give a girl a cholesterol attack.
Someone described me as warm and fuzzy. So now I am a myopic thermal blanket. Ah well, if its too cold I can always wrap myself around me.
Am I making any sense in this post?
Did'nt think so too.
But its okay. Pierce Brosnan's on TV. No I will not ask him to get down. He is right now effing the daylights out of Rene Russo. (You got it... its the Thomas Crown Affair. And its UNCENSORED because its on Cable).
Let me just sigh for a few moment and think about a certain butt while you shake your head and curse yourself for reading crap.
February 25, 2008
Shuddup Awlready !! I'm Thinking!
Where there is an Emo Kid, there is a little Tag with it.
Life Ten Years Ago
How far do you remember the girl with tightly curled hair who loved fighting with boys and tried to juggle thrust-upon sisterhood and motherhood? My sister. My world at that time centered around her. Silences. Long ones. From me. Screams and catcalls.Ei meyeta boro hoye kissu parbe na. Kissu hobe na, shudhu gilbe. Unwanted touches from strangers in trains/buses/autos. Three-inch high heel was ground on one of their toes. Fights with boys. Torn shirt and bloody lips. Red lipstick and my experiments with life. Aware that the upper body was not as flat as before. TNT and Gene Kelly. Roshun. Gargi. Abby. Rumela. Lock-and-Key. Sayani's Boyfriends.
Life Five Years Ago
PM's classes. Saru's jokes. Green Benches. S. Gargi and Suchismita. High Priestess ship of Michaelangelo Brigade. The bookworm who loved seeing Father Eaton's face when it broke into a smile. Made him look like a jacket potato about to be peeled. Nihil Ultra. Fights continued. Constant worry over where the fees were coming from and how much every single thing cost. Money. The walks to Sir's place and a shared rum ball because we were paupers. Pujo and Olypub. Getting caught drinking by best friend.
Life Tomorrow
Not very concerned bout it right now. I have stuff to translate.
Five Locations I would like to Run Away To
Goa.
Bangalore.
Hawaii.
Delhi.
London.
Five Bad Habits I have
Only Five?
Too aggressive.
Too messy.
Too open.
Too politically incorrect.
Too outspoken.
Many more I have. As someone never fail to point out.
Five Things I Will Never Wear
I shall never wear nipple rings. There!
Until it is ABSOLUTELY NEEDED or I AM NOT AWARE OF IT, I shall never wear fur.
I shall never wear guilt. I shall shed it as soon as possible.
Or vanity.
And I shall never wear a fake smile when I don't feel like it. I shall never wear rationality around me while I can feel. If that makes me stupid or anything else then I am willing to be that as long as I know what I run after. And no one shall make me believe otherwise. I am happy exactly the way I am. And I WILL NOT change. With all my flaws.
Five Biggest Joys at This Moment
S got through TCS.
The Sister's massaging my aching back as I type.
Andro called five minutes ago.
The Weather.
I am alive. With the adrenaline pumping.
Something to Achieve By Next Year
Happiness. In the form of a lot of things.
Something that Impacted Me Last Year
Andro Left.
What I will Miss About 2007
2007 was probably one of the worst years of my life. Still, I shall miss JUDE. And the time I spent training with Shataaf.
Five things I want to do before I die
Love. Because I know I am worth it.
Study. Because I love it.
Be a mother. Because I know I can bring a life to this world and nurture it.
Do at least Half of the Crazy Wishes I have in my Head. Not keep any regrets there.
Go places. Because I want to see and live free like the Bohemian I am at heart.
I tag nobody since no one tagged me. Did this because I like this tag a lot. Its quite doable and you, reader can do it too. I won't mind. Just tell me after you do so that I can have a peek at it.
Life Ten Years Ago
How far do you remember the girl with tightly curled hair who loved fighting with boys and tried to juggle thrust-upon sisterhood and motherhood? My sister. My world at that time centered around her. Silences. Long ones. From me. Screams and catcalls.Ei meyeta boro hoye kissu parbe na. Kissu hobe na, shudhu gilbe. Unwanted touches from strangers in trains/buses/autos. Three-inch high heel was ground on one of their toes. Fights with boys. Torn shirt and bloody lips. Red lipstick and my experiments with life. Aware that the upper body was not as flat as before. TNT and Gene Kelly. Roshun. Gargi. Abby. Rumela. Lock-and-Key. Sayani's Boyfriends.
Life Five Years Ago
PM's classes. Saru's jokes. Green Benches. S. Gargi and Suchismita. High Priestess ship of Michaelangelo Brigade. The bookworm who loved seeing Father Eaton's face when it broke into a smile. Made him look like a jacket potato about to be peeled. Nihil Ultra. Fights continued. Constant worry over where the fees were coming from and how much every single thing cost. Money. The walks to Sir's place and a shared rum ball because we were paupers. Pujo and Olypub. Getting caught drinking by best friend.
Life Tomorrow
Not very concerned bout it right now. I have stuff to translate.
Five Locations I would like to Run Away To
Goa.
Bangalore.
Hawaii.
Delhi.
London.
Five Bad Habits I have
Only Five?
Too aggressive.
Too messy.
Too open.
Too politically incorrect.
Too outspoken.
Many more I have. As someone never fail to point out.
Five Things I Will Never Wear
I shall never wear nipple rings. There!
Until it is ABSOLUTELY NEEDED or I AM NOT AWARE OF IT, I shall never wear fur.
I shall never wear guilt. I shall shed it as soon as possible.
Or vanity.
And I shall never wear a fake smile when I don't feel like it. I shall never wear rationality around me while I can feel. If that makes me stupid or anything else then I am willing to be that as long as I know what I run after. And no one shall make me believe otherwise. I am happy exactly the way I am. And I WILL NOT change. With all my flaws.
Five Biggest Joys at This Moment
S got through TCS.
The Sister's massaging my aching back as I type.
Andro called five minutes ago.
The Weather.
I am alive. With the adrenaline pumping.
Something to Achieve By Next Year
Happiness. In the form of a lot of things.
Something that Impacted Me Last Year
Andro Left.
What I will Miss About 2007
2007 was probably one of the worst years of my life. Still, I shall miss JUDE. And the time I spent training with Shataaf.
Five things I want to do before I die
Love. Because I know I am worth it.
Study. Because I love it.
Be a mother. Because I know I can bring a life to this world and nurture it.
Do at least Half of the Crazy Wishes I have in my Head. Not keep any regrets there.
Go places. Because I want to see and live free like the Bohemian I am at heart.
I tag nobody since no one tagged me. Did this because I like this tag a lot. Its quite doable and you, reader can do it too. I won't mind. Just tell me after you do so that I can have a peek at it.
February 20, 2008
There was One...
The wet sound of rain is all around me.
School. Its what shapes you when you grow up. Because all through your childhood, you are obsessed about it. Education.
Nearly six years ago seven people made a plan. They were the Scarlet Pimpernel, members of an all-virgin group of girls who promised to meet each other on 20th February 2008 no matter where they were in this world. They were invincible in their friendship, so certain nothing could tear apart the bond they had.
I went to the little niche under which they used to meet. I vandalized private property by scribbling out "P***** was here, 20/02/08" on the dark, moss-covered wall, with a piece of brick. It will be covered by moss again. Soon.
Adt is married. She is planning to go to Ireland. So is Roshun. She is busy working in Bangalore. Pulo has become a Chef in Oberoi Mumbai. Rumela's got the job of her dreams in HDFC. Ria is in Hawaii, doing her research work. Sayani's busy flying at Kingfisher.
Work. Friends. People. They change. And you change with them. Even if the Eucalyptus trees bear the carved out promise of coming back, you don't. Only the memory remains, and then it fades silently against the rain that soaks through my skin.
School. Its what shapes you when you grow up. Because all through your childhood, you are obsessed about it. Education.
Nearly six years ago seven people made a plan. They were the Scarlet Pimpernel, members of an all-virgin group of girls who promised to meet each other on 20th February 2008 no matter where they were in this world. They were invincible in their friendship, so certain nothing could tear apart the bond they had.
I went to the little niche under which they used to meet. I vandalized private property by scribbling out "P***** was here, 20/02/08" on the dark, moss-covered wall, with a piece of brick. It will be covered by moss again. Soon.
Adt is married. She is planning to go to Ireland. So is Roshun. She is busy working in Bangalore. Pulo has become a Chef in Oberoi Mumbai. Rumela's got the job of her dreams in HDFC. Ria is in Hawaii, doing her research work. Sayani's busy flying at Kingfisher.
Work. Friends. People. They change. And you change with them. Even if the Eucalyptus trees bear the carved out promise of coming back, you don't. Only the memory remains, and then it fades silently against the rain that soaks through my skin.
February 15, 2008
The Masterpiece.
The Sister's came first in All India Painting Competition 2007 in her group. The picture she drew there is not this one. Its something else. But this one's up on my blog. She's 13.
And if I look at a paintbrush, the damn thing breaks.
So she's kinda awesome at this painting business.
I have kinda speechless moments now. I'd like to sob and go boo-hoo-hoo a bit if she was not such a brat. But she is. And I won't. She's worth spanking.
Thats all folks. According to The Pig.
February 10, 2008
On Manyness.
Er.
This post is for the ONE WHO TAGGED ME. You vicious thing, you.
Achha wait na... I shall tag. JustYouGuysWait.
Er. This tag is about my posts. Quite embarrassed I am with them right now. I don't think I have that many post that I should keep here. Okwell, lets see now. Lets see.
On Family, eh? Ah yes. I have had lots of things to write about the family. I personally think family posts are pretty entertaining. I have to first look at The Dose.
Then there were the posts about the marriages. Oboy. Here it is.
And then there were about the theory of relativity. Hem Hem.
And about the sister and random people. This one's about the sister's obsession about Inu Yasha. And this one's about a moment with my father. And random drunkenness.
All older posts. Commemorating memories. Looking at what once was, what once had been.
On Friends.
My favourite one's this one. For four people who matter a lot.
There is this one for my soul. She is. I could not decide whether to put it under love or friends. Here goes this one in friends.
This one's a day with her.
This one's for my first best friend.
And this one's for all of them. All those who matter.
Random posts I like are these.
One for Cassini's.
One that has two poems in it.
One with a fudge brownie recipe in it.
One that is filled with weddings, cell, and a name.
And one that has a description of Vote in JUDE.
On LOVE and SUCHLIKE.
This, This, This, This, or This.
On Myself.
Er. Very hard to select.
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
Thats about it.
Please to look for them. Its a long list.
OBoy. I tag Suki. And I tag Dhruva. And anyone else who would like to do this.
This post is for the ONE WHO TAGGED ME. You vicious thing, you.
Achha wait na... I shall tag. JustYouGuysWait.
Er. This tag is about my posts. Quite embarrassed I am with them right now. I don't think I have that many post that I should keep here. Okwell, lets see now. Lets see.
On Family, eh? Ah yes. I have had lots of things to write about the family. I personally think family posts are pretty entertaining. I have to first look at The Dose.
Then there were the posts about the marriages. Oboy. Here it is.
And then there were about the theory of relativity. Hem Hem.
And about the sister and random people. This one's about the sister's obsession about Inu Yasha. And this one's about a moment with my father. And random drunkenness.
All older posts. Commemorating memories. Looking at what once was, what once had been.
On Friends.
My favourite one's this one. For four people who matter a lot.
There is this one for my soul. She is. I could not decide whether to put it under love or friends. Here goes this one in friends.
This one's a day with her.
This one's for my first best friend.
And this one's for all of them. All those who matter.
Random posts I like are these.
One for Cassini's.
One that has two poems in it.
One with a fudge brownie recipe in it.
One that is filled with weddings, cell, and a name.
And one that has a description of Vote in JUDE.
On LOVE and SUCHLIKE.
This, This, This, This, or This.
On Myself.
Er. Very hard to select.
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
Thats about it.
Please to look for them. Its a long list.
OBoy. I tag Suki. And I tag Dhruva. And anyone else who would like to do this.
January 27, 2008
I'm Good.
No Not in the sense of Goodness or so. Its just that, I've been posting sort of exceptionally emo stuff on my blog and though people identify with it, I realize that this is only the sick-rose me who's like counting another year without a valentine or anything related to love and allthat.
Yes, er... frustration I guess. Its a bit like gas. Its sort of uncomfortable around your chest, but once you've belched it out, it gets better, though your stomach hurts a bit afterwards.
Umm. Bad image.
Change topic.
A big heart. I heart one big heart shaped chocolate that I saw today when I was out with Sandy. Ooh. Big chocolate.
Yes I am fishing for chocs.
Ah, and I am leaving for a Vacation. Because I need some time to recover from all that has been going on till now.
Oh dear Lord... YES!!! I am. Finally.
And with someone I love.
YesYESyesYesYES!!!!
Oh yes.
Its going to be cold there. And there shall be booze.
Peep's boycotting V-day.
I would not do that if I were her. I would not. Its just not fair to not give the old saint a chance. I shall so do something crazy this year. And I would not mind doing that, too.
People have random crushes on other people all around me. Ah! Love is in the air.
Or in people's heart at least.
I wrote this poem a year ago. It was pretty er... but I guess I have the time to waste and because its my blog, I can do anything... and if someone does not like the way I write he/she can just click the mouse on the x and be off.
I'll wipe the pages clean
And start afresh.
No more of mismatched lines
Where the rhythm shall miss
The flow.
Therefore I'll be a bubbling brook
Flowing where life should go...
And this pen and paper
Are too narrow to stop me.
I shall go beyond the words
And my meaning will show
Through something more than
The mere words that trap me.
Yes, er... frustration I guess. Its a bit like gas. Its sort of uncomfortable around your chest, but once you've belched it out, it gets better, though your stomach hurts a bit afterwards.
Umm. Bad image.
Change topic.
A big heart. I heart one big heart shaped chocolate that I saw today when I was out with Sandy. Ooh. Big chocolate.
Yes I am fishing for chocs.
Ah, and I am leaving for a Vacation. Because I need some time to recover from all that has been going on till now.
Oh dear Lord... YES!!! I am. Finally.
And with someone I love.
YesYESyesYesYES!!!!
Oh yes.
Its going to be cold there. And there shall be booze.
Peep's boycotting V-day.
I would not do that if I were her. I would not. Its just not fair to not give the old saint a chance. I shall so do something crazy this year. And I would not mind doing that, too.
People have random crushes on other people all around me. Ah! Love is in the air.
Or in people's heart at least.
I wrote this poem a year ago. It was pretty er... but I guess I have the time to waste and because its my blog, I can do anything... and if someone does not like the way I write he/she can just click the mouse on the x and be off.
I'll wipe the pages clean
And start afresh.
No more of mismatched lines
Where the rhythm shall miss
The flow.
Therefore I'll be a bubbling brook
Flowing where life should go...
And this pen and paper
Are too narrow to stop me.
I shall go beyond the words
And my meaning will show
Through something more than
The mere words that trap me.
January 25, 2008
You again!
So what if one day I look into your eyes and see nothing but friendship? I can and do live with it. Even if I know that inside I am being smothered by that friendship, I can never tell you what you mean to me and how much I need you or silly things like that which comes between you and me.
You know, that is the problem. We are similar people who are afraid of each other. Afraid? No no. Wary is more like it. We move around the topic, skirt around the game, but we both know one day its going to be out.
And I know you can't handle the truth so why don't you sit on your pretty ass and smile back? Why take those moments to watch me (and I know when you watch me when you think I am not aware) and then pretend nothing is up? Why make those moments of non-performance with me? Why?
I want to tear you apart and see what you are inside. I want to chew your guts and ingest them. I want to make you such a part of me that you won't know where I begin and you end.
But I won't.
Because for my life, I shall never tell you what you are and how much you mean to me. Even after what we have done. Even after this whole mess.
I won't. Just you see. You were different once. Now you are not. Now you are not.
You know, that is the problem. We are similar people who are afraid of each other. Afraid? No no. Wary is more like it. We move around the topic, skirt around the game, but we both know one day its going to be out.
And I know you can't handle the truth so why don't you sit on your pretty ass and smile back? Why take those moments to watch me (and I know when you watch me when you think I am not aware) and then pretend nothing is up? Why make those moments of non-performance with me? Why?
I want to tear you apart and see what you are inside. I want to chew your guts and ingest them. I want to make you such a part of me that you won't know where I begin and you end.
But I won't.
Because for my life, I shall never tell you what you are and how much you mean to me. Even after what we have done. Even after this whole mess.
I won't. Just you see. You were different once. Now you are not. Now you are not.
January 24, 2008
Not too Far...
I just realized today that I have been doing things and thinking... Ah, one day I shall look back at this and laugh.
I think I am making memories. Making up the "Good Old Days" which I shall recall when I sit beside another nutter in an old-age home (though I have serious doubts about reaching that age... with my repute I shall probably be long dead).
Anyway, memories. Memories. They are so weird sometimes. You think of something and then Poof! Its there in a flash. Like its happening again right in front of you. And you can't change it. Ever.
You know, I realized that its always the Good Old Days we look to. Even when we are kids, every moment forward is a sort of degradation. Its like, you are yearning from some past memory, a point in the past when you did this or That. I do not know what... but somehow its this insatiable need to be back to a point when you were .... should I call it Innocent? No. Its more... Uncorrupted.
Blake-ian.
I wrote something in my diary three years ago. Its true on retrospect. I promised to myself that there would be a knight in a shining armour for me too. One day, I will be like Rapunzel (without the long hair of course) and someone will help me escape and then take care of me. Now I have found the Knight.
Unfortunately when I peered inside the shining helmet, I found a mirror.
Long walks help. Music helps. This incurable hunger, loneliness... I am like a wolf searching... sniffing... thirsting.... but then, I am too much of a free-spirit to ever settle down with one individual. I shall probably crave freedom after awhile. Love is attached to a kind of confinement, not in itself, but what it entails is confining. That is why being in love hurts so much, because you are constantly struggling with the confinement around you, and you cannot explain how badly it hurts. You only feel the taste of what it does to you.
Oh My God. Please do not tell me I have been spending time to write this. Who reads this anyway? I shall be splendidly cook-y and give recipes for rum balls soon.
I think I am making memories. Making up the "Good Old Days" which I shall recall when I sit beside another nutter in an old-age home (though I have serious doubts about reaching that age... with my repute I shall probably be long dead).
Anyway, memories. Memories. They are so weird sometimes. You think of something and then Poof! Its there in a flash. Like its happening again right in front of you. And you can't change it. Ever.
You know, I realized that its always the Good Old Days we look to. Even when we are kids, every moment forward is a sort of degradation. Its like, you are yearning from some past memory, a point in the past when you did this or That. I do not know what... but somehow its this insatiable need to be back to a point when you were .... should I call it Innocent? No. Its more... Uncorrupted.
Blake-ian.
I wrote something in my diary three years ago. Its true on retrospect. I promised to myself that there would be a knight in a shining armour for me too. One day, I will be like Rapunzel (without the long hair of course) and someone will help me escape and then take care of me. Now I have found the Knight.
Unfortunately when I peered inside the shining helmet, I found a mirror.
Long walks help. Music helps. This incurable hunger, loneliness... I am like a wolf searching... sniffing... thirsting.... but then, I am too much of a free-spirit to ever settle down with one individual. I shall probably crave freedom after awhile. Love is attached to a kind of confinement, not in itself, but what it entails is confining. That is why being in love hurts so much, because you are constantly struggling with the confinement around you, and you cannot explain how badly it hurts. You only feel the taste of what it does to you.
Oh My God. Please do not tell me I have been spending time to write this. Who reads this anyway? I shall be splendidly cook-y and give recipes for rum balls soon.
January 20, 2008
Fudge Brownies, anyone?
The last three days were like whirlwind. Shook me up.
Beautifully.
I love this sense of being driven from one extreme to another... floating aimlessly anywhere... and loving that feeling all the while. It is like when you least expect life to turn up trumps, it does.
So Tim Supple has become the talk of this town with his adaptation of A Midsummer Night's Dream. I sat on the fourth row the first time I saw it with Chu. I was mesmerized. Wow was the only word that could ever describe what I felt. I felt like I was floating in unreality.... and the experience was repeated when I saw it the following day with P from the last row on top... and it was the same. P claimed it was something out of a dream. "As if... this is no longer Kolkata... I am in some place that is unreal."
The only flaw that I thought was perhaps there... was the handling of Titania's speeches. But otherwise, the play was all good. And the score was brilliant. The wild frenzy and the mild jingles mingled merrily at the end, and I stood up and clapped. I could not believe the beauty of it... no matter where I sat.
Okay, so I drank a few glasses of rum and realized I was supposed to bake brownies for the picnic the next day, and it was One in the morning. So, all right... with shaking hands and giggling mouth, I proceeded to make brownies. Thank the Lord I had everything in hand, otherwise they would've been all messed up.
At this point, Statutory claim : Please try this at home, y'all.AND THIS MEANS YOU, CHOCOLATE ADDICTS!!
What I did was take around 125 gms of soft butter and whip it till its creamy and fluffed up like ruffled feathers.... then I dampened all the enthusiasm of it by pouring in a cup of sugar and smooshed it. It went all buttery sugar-ball mixture. At that point I added around 5 eggs (Mind, I am cooking for 15 people here) and sort of whipped them around. When I, in my drunken stupor, stopped feeling up the side of the fridge for an entrance, I got half a jar of condensed milk out of it, and poured whatever I could not gulp down my throat fast in the mixture. I sort of stir it around a bit, just to get the flavour going.
Now, the flour. My difficulty was in getting the measure of flour and baking powder together. In the end I sort of gave up on the baking powder, and added what I thought was a teaspoon to it. I really don't know the finer details, but I think I did pour it in the bowl of flour (around 350 gms of it).
Then came the difficult part. Breaking and melting.
The CHOCOLATE.
I could not believe it when I found out Milk Compound (that is semisweet cooking chocolate) for 95 bucks (for 500gms) from New Market. I got it and i broke around 3/4th of the chocolates.
Now I think I added around 2/3rd of the chocolate nuggets into the damn brownies. The rest I melted and then added. By this time the flour went in, with around 50 gms of cocoa powder and a cup of boiling water after the whole thing looks slightly dry. At this point I put in 100gms of walnuts, but if you want you can avoid it. The rest is mix-tory. I seriously don't remember pouring it in the greased baking tin. I remember putting it to bake at 180 degrees, but thats because thats the preset of our oven.
Okay, so there I was in all my drunken glory, when I hear a scream.
I ran out, and I found our driver's second wife and his girlfriend standing outside our house, making a big racket.
WTF?
So apparently, the driver got drunk and threatened them with a knife. They immediately complained to the cops who shoved him in the lock-up. He went in quite happily, claiming... "Dada chharabe" (assumed my dad will bail him out). They came over, panicked, that my dad, the sucker he is, shall do exactly that. They did not want him out.
Oh damn! There goes my car and driver. I can't drive!!
I sort of stayed up all night, because by the time this was over, it was three in the morning, and the brownies were done. Do you guys think I stood there and wrung my hands and thought ... OH DEAR LORD, A LARGE BATCH OF BROWNIES.... WHAT DO I DO!??!
Hah!
So I knocked down copious amount of the brownies... still lava hot because the chocolate chunks inside have melted, and downed them. The rest I frosted with white chocolate melted together with butter.
Comments about the brownies went like "Go Die Cookie Jar!!" and "Panu You Have Created Sin."
The Picnic. Oh man!! It was awesome!! I love The Tramp, Dhruva and Peep. They were AWL fabulous. I even have pictures of Peepsy being fabulous.
Aw HOW WE ARE WONDERFUL NOWADAYS.
I Loved the Day. I wish It would have never ended. It was beautiful. From dawn to dusk. And even after that.
By the way, the day ended with a few glasses of Absolut Vodka.
Ah, I love this life as of now.
Yes Yes I am hedonistic.
But hey, Its nice.
Beautifully.
I love this sense of being driven from one extreme to another... floating aimlessly anywhere... and loving that feeling all the while. It is like when you least expect life to turn up trumps, it does.
So Tim Supple has become the talk of this town with his adaptation of A Midsummer Night's Dream. I sat on the fourth row the first time I saw it with Chu. I was mesmerized. Wow was the only word that could ever describe what I felt. I felt like I was floating in unreality.... and the experience was repeated when I saw it the following day with P from the last row on top... and it was the same. P claimed it was something out of a dream. "As if... this is no longer Kolkata... I am in some place that is unreal."
The only flaw that I thought was perhaps there... was the handling of Titania's speeches. But otherwise, the play was all good. And the score was brilliant. The wild frenzy and the mild jingles mingled merrily at the end, and I stood up and clapped. I could not believe the beauty of it... no matter where I sat.
Okay, so I drank a few glasses of rum and realized I was supposed to bake brownies for the picnic the next day, and it was One in the morning. So, all right... with shaking hands and giggling mouth, I proceeded to make brownies. Thank the Lord I had everything in hand, otherwise they would've been all messed up.
At this point, Statutory claim : Please try this at home, y'all.AND THIS MEANS YOU, CHOCOLATE ADDICTS!!
What I did was take around 125 gms of soft butter and whip it till its creamy and fluffed up like ruffled feathers.... then I dampened all the enthusiasm of it by pouring in a cup of sugar and smooshed it. It went all buttery sugar-ball mixture. At that point I added around 5 eggs (Mind, I am cooking for 15 people here) and sort of whipped them around. When I, in my drunken stupor, stopped feeling up the side of the fridge for an entrance, I got half a jar of condensed milk out of it, and poured whatever I could not gulp down my throat fast in the mixture. I sort of stir it around a bit, just to get the flavour going.
Now, the flour. My difficulty was in getting the measure of flour and baking powder together. In the end I sort of gave up on the baking powder, and added what I thought was a teaspoon to it. I really don't know the finer details, but I think I did pour it in the bowl of flour (around 350 gms of it).
Then came the difficult part. Breaking and melting.
The CHOCOLATE.
I could not believe it when I found out Milk Compound (that is semisweet cooking chocolate) for 95 bucks (for 500gms) from New Market. I got it and i broke around 3/4th of the chocolates.
Now I think I added around 2/3rd of the chocolate nuggets into the damn brownies. The rest I melted and then added. By this time the flour went in, with around 50 gms of cocoa powder and a cup of boiling water after the whole thing looks slightly dry. At this point I put in 100gms of walnuts, but if you want you can avoid it. The rest is mix-tory. I seriously don't remember pouring it in the greased baking tin. I remember putting it to bake at 180 degrees, but thats because thats the preset of our oven.
Okay, so there I was in all my drunken glory, when I hear a scream.
I ran out, and I found our driver's second wife and his girlfriend standing outside our house, making a big racket.
WTF?
So apparently, the driver got drunk and threatened them with a knife. They immediately complained to the cops who shoved him in the lock-up. He went in quite happily, claiming... "Dada chharabe" (assumed my dad will bail him out). They came over, panicked, that my dad, the sucker he is, shall do exactly that. They did not want him out.
Oh damn! There goes my car and driver. I can't drive!!
I sort of stayed up all night, because by the time this was over, it was three in the morning, and the brownies were done. Do you guys think I stood there and wrung my hands and thought ... OH DEAR LORD, A LARGE BATCH OF BROWNIES.... WHAT DO I DO!??!
Hah!
So I knocked down copious amount of the brownies... still lava hot because the chocolate chunks inside have melted, and downed them. The rest I frosted with white chocolate melted together with butter.
Comments about the brownies went like "Go Die Cookie Jar!!" and "Panu You Have Created Sin."
The Picnic. Oh man!! It was awesome!! I love The Tramp, Dhruva and Peep. They were AWL fabulous. I even have pictures of Peepsy being fabulous.
Aw HOW WE ARE WONDERFUL NOWADAYS.
I Loved the Day. I wish It would have never ended. It was beautiful. From dawn to dusk. And even after that.
By the way, the day ended with a few glasses of Absolut Vodka.
Ah, I love this life as of now.
Yes Yes I am hedonistic.
But hey, Its nice.
January 16, 2008
Four in the Afternoon.
Sudden changes sort of leave the Panu stunned. But the city is beautiful now. Its all glowing softly in the afternoon and looks like a warm place to be when inside she is getting the first chills. Its all good, she says. Happens. It does happen. People go away. Its not a big deal.
So she's taken to the refuge again. Headed for the hills.
She is.
Going places.
Quite happy, she incidentally is. The life she leads is beautiful. Its cold, but then, beauty is best eaten cold.
So then she sings Dylan and says she's like a rolling stone.
I gather no moss. I flit. I flow. I move.
Love my randomness. Love my passion. Love the fact I am a fool, because then I can overlook so many things that others cannot.
I love myself as of now. For getting where I am now. Let me just take a breather and look around. Life is beautiful.
January 12, 2008
I should not be writing this but let me tell you, gentle reader, that the winter requires chapsticks.
Its a must for all.
For grave reasons.
On other news, friends are friends. They just don't stop being friends because they go away. They just go distant, but somehow you realize that a friend is a friend is a friend. He/She/It (because I consider the Moon to be amongst my closest buddies) is someone whom you carry inside you. They can be the Star, they can be the Sun, they can be the Lily, they can be the World, they can even be the Empress of your soul, call them what you like.... but you loved them in a moment and you carry that moment around with you for the rest of your existence, and you live your life over those little moments that gather dust on the shelves until you give them a tiny dusting, and they are refreshed.
Sometimes you feel the obvious temptation to leave it all away and start over again, but for these moments you just fail to, because they are what you let yourself be... what you make yourself of.
These moments bring to mind the incredible number of lost scenes that you could have, should have, would have remembered, but you don't bother because its not worth the space inside your mind. Your mind is a vast stretch of forgetfulness, and you mourn your age because you fail to remember certain things about yourself.
And all that matters at the end of one day is that you move on from this moment to that, and blow a ring of smoke to the world, with wishes for fulfillment.
Andro. I wish you luck sweetheart. I won't miss you much, because part of me is there with you and part of you is here in me, and I'll look back and smile on this one day.
Its a must for all.
For grave reasons.
On other news, friends are friends. They just don't stop being friends because they go away. They just go distant, but somehow you realize that a friend is a friend is a friend. He/She/It (because I consider the Moon to be amongst my closest buddies) is someone whom you carry inside you. They can be the Star, they can be the Sun, they can be the Lily, they can be the World, they can even be the Empress of your soul, call them what you like.... but you loved them in a moment and you carry that moment around with you for the rest of your existence, and you live your life over those little moments that gather dust on the shelves until you give them a tiny dusting, and they are refreshed.
Sometimes you feel the obvious temptation to leave it all away and start over again, but for these moments you just fail to, because they are what you let yourself be... what you make yourself of.
These moments bring to mind the incredible number of lost scenes that you could have, should have, would have remembered, but you don't bother because its not worth the space inside your mind. Your mind is a vast stretch of forgetfulness, and you mourn your age because you fail to remember certain things about yourself.
And all that matters at the end of one day is that you move on from this moment to that, and blow a ring of smoke to the world, with wishes for fulfillment.
Andro. I wish you luck sweetheart. I won't miss you much, because part of me is there with you and part of you is here in me, and I'll look back and smile on this one day.
January 09, 2008
Just a Thought...
Despite being crude and loud in a lot of people's opinion....
I sort of....
Kind of....
Rock.
Never was one to mince words....
And where was I? Oh yes.
Yesternight was sort of surreal. I do believe that Yesternight is not really a proper word... but I shall use it. Had a sleepover with three of my very good friends from school. Its the kind I like... with booze and lots of girly talk. My Adt's gotten married and all, so we were sort of getting all the juicy (ahem) details from her about the life and love of....
Whatever. About three o'clock we were all sufficiently frustrated because the Smirnoff was gone and we were sort of wondering (slightly befuddled) what to do.
And then S had a Brilliant Plan.
At this point Statutory warning: DONT TRY THIS AT HOME. Please. Please. Please.
So there we were at three o'clock in the morning minding our own business over leftover chips, and out comes a pack of light golden brown hair colour from S's bag.
"Lets go blonde!!" She Squeals.
We were very Smirnoff. We agreed.
And therefore I woke up this morning with my hair resembling Johnny Depp in Edward Scissorhands
. After two hours of rigorous shampooing and lots of conditioning.... it looks like this.
Trust me, it looks worse. And I still cant believe I am blonde. Maybe a brownish shade of blonde, but blonde nonetheless. I even had blonde moments today. Shit.
On other news.... I have resolved this new year never to mix alcohol and permanent hair colour. Bad combination.
But hey, at least I did not end up looking like S. She got her hair coloured in patches. Now she is the proud owner of the dalmatian look. Which means she has splotches all over her hair.
Yes Lord Justice is Thine.
Ah well.... height of frustration : go blonde.
I sort of....
Kind of....
Rock.
Never was one to mince words....
And where was I? Oh yes.
Yesternight was sort of surreal. I do believe that Yesternight is not really a proper word... but I shall use it. Had a sleepover with three of my very good friends from school. Its the kind I like... with booze and lots of girly talk. My Adt's gotten married and all, so we were sort of getting all the juicy (ahem) details from her about the life and love of....
Whatever. About three o'clock we were all sufficiently frustrated because the Smirnoff was gone and we were sort of wondering (slightly befuddled) what to do.
And then S had a Brilliant Plan.
At this point Statutory warning: DONT TRY THIS AT HOME. Please. Please. Please.
So there we were at three o'clock in the morning minding our own business over leftover chips, and out comes a pack of light golden brown hair colour from S's bag.
"Lets go blonde!!" She Squeals.
We were very Smirnoff. We agreed.
And therefore I woke up this morning with my hair resembling Johnny Depp in Edward Scissorhands
. After two hours of rigorous shampooing and lots of conditioning.... it looks like this.
Trust me, it looks worse. And I still cant believe I am blonde. Maybe a brownish shade of blonde, but blonde nonetheless. I even had blonde moments today. Shit.
On other news.... I have resolved this new year never to mix alcohol and permanent hair colour. Bad combination.
But hey, at least I did not end up looking like S. She got her hair coloured in patches. Now she is the proud owner of the dalmatian look. Which means she has splotches all over her hair.
Yes Lord Justice is Thine.
Ah well.... height of frustration : go blonde.
January 07, 2008
Apparently There are A Lot of Things....
That I know of. Like the time I tried to prove to this friend of mine that I was better in fisticuffs.
Result : One broken Incisor. His.
Yes I was a vicious person. Vindictive and vicious.
Its how childhood is. Whenever I talk of it, I draw the outlines and fill them up with pastel shades. Bright, primary colours. They tend to make the black borders stand out.
When I was a kid I hated black. I used to love the night because it was Navy-Blue and studded with silver stars. I remember being seven and going upstairs to the secluded roof and find a little ledge... at around twelve o'clock in the night. My father used to go there sometimes too. He was not afraid of the dark, either. We used to think up plans to scare Ma.... One day Dad climbed on the little ledge and sort of slithered his way to the kitchen window to scare Ma by knocking on it.
I still remember Ma screaming out loud.
Yes!!
He used to tell me stories.... One day he told me about Nishir Dak... there was a Tantric ( a person who practices tantra)who was given a lot of money by a rich man to save his son from sure death. The Tantric took a coconut and cut its top off. Then he enchanted it with powerful deadly tantra. Then, he went out to the village on a night when no moon rose to protect the villagers, and called out the name of one member of each house thrice. If any man answered, his soul was automatically pulled out of him to be enclosed within the little coconut. The tantric then sealed off and poured it in the body of the dying boy.
I remember someone once calling my father at around one o'clock in the morning... and a frightened me clamping a palm over his mouth because I was that afraid he would answer and then his soul will be captured.
Memories. How they sometimes come back to you...
Result : One broken Incisor. His.
Yes I was a vicious person. Vindictive and vicious.
Its how childhood is. Whenever I talk of it, I draw the outlines and fill them up with pastel shades. Bright, primary colours. They tend to make the black borders stand out.
When I was a kid I hated black. I used to love the night because it was Navy-Blue and studded with silver stars. I remember being seven and going upstairs to the secluded roof and find a little ledge... at around twelve o'clock in the night. My father used to go there sometimes too. He was not afraid of the dark, either. We used to think up plans to scare Ma.... One day Dad climbed on the little ledge and sort of slithered his way to the kitchen window to scare Ma by knocking on it.
I still remember Ma screaming out loud.
Yes!!
He used to tell me stories.... One day he told me about Nishir Dak... there was a Tantric ( a person who practices tantra)who was given a lot of money by a rich man to save his son from sure death. The Tantric took a coconut and cut its top off. Then he enchanted it with powerful deadly tantra. Then, he went out to the village on a night when no moon rose to protect the villagers, and called out the name of one member of each house thrice. If any man answered, his soul was automatically pulled out of him to be enclosed within the little coconut. The tantric then sealed off and poured it in the body of the dying boy.
I remember someone once calling my father at around one o'clock in the morning... and a frightened me clamping a palm over his mouth because I was that afraid he would answer and then his soul will be captured.
Memories. How they sometimes come back to you...
December 29, 2007
New year resolution: Get AMNESIA.
I got this tag from Ruby.
1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Partied like crazy. I never did it before. And yes, became superficial. Very.
2. Did you keep your new years resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I kept my new year resolution of finding someone. I did. I lost him too. I would make another one for the coming year. Of finding absolution.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes. Muniadidi.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes.
5. What places did you visit?
I visited Jabbalpur for my best friend's wedding. Without the adultery bit. Did not do much sightseeing, though.
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
I need to run away. Somewhere. I could not do that in 2007 though I tried.
7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
13th April and 21st May. Why? Both has to do with someone whom I am proud of.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I got a job. And I was damn good at it.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I lost a friend. Or someone I thought was a friend.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes. I did. Quite a lot of that.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My Laptop.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Chu's. I love her because she deserves it.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and/or depressed?
Kheps's. I would not lie anymore. Not to myself, not to others. I never expected what he did to me, and I shall not forget it any time sooner.
14. Where did most of your money go?
On clothes, food, and my laptop.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I got excited about Cassini's Division. And I got excited about my job too.
16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
Carnival of Rust - Poets of the Fall.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
Its fleeting, re. All these emotions. I don't know... I think I am on a different level of emotions altogether.
18. Thinner or fatter?
NOT TO BE DISCLOSED. CONTENT SUPPRESSED.
19. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish I had done more travelling.
20. What do you wish you'd done less of?
I wish I had not mourned and been sad about someone.
21. How will you be spending Christmas?
Already spent it at a party and then followed up by cooking lunch and getting drunk as a skunk in a funk.
22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
No. I gave up on it.
23. How many one night stands?
One night can't be spent standing...
Ah really, you think I will answer that? Mairi!!
24. What was your favourite TV programme?
This was the year of watching very less TV. But still, Jamie Oliver ruled.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Yes I do.
26. What was the best book you read?
Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Guy
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Cassini's Division.
28. What did you want and get?
I got passion.
29. What did you want and not get?
I did not get love.
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Taare Zameen Par.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Distributed chocolate at work place. Went out to the club, and got drunk because I turned 24.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Getting through M.Phil
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Zany.
34. What kept you sane?
Determination. And a lot of friends.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Amir Khan.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Nandigram.
37. Who did you miss?
I missed a lot of people. A lot. They all matter and I am exhausted just by thinking about them.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Its a tie. Dhruva and Pablo.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
Don't believe the truth. Very Oasis.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
My life..... Is nothing but this Carnival of Rust.
I am tired of this. Tired of everything I guess.
I want out.
Come on, hit me with a car so I can get amnesia and a new life!!
1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Partied like crazy. I never did it before. And yes, became superficial. Very.
2. Did you keep your new years resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I kept my new year resolution of finding someone. I did. I lost him too. I would make another one for the coming year. Of finding absolution.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes. Muniadidi.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes.
5. What places did you visit?
I visited Jabbalpur for my best friend's wedding. Without the adultery bit. Did not do much sightseeing, though.
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
I need to run away. Somewhere. I could not do that in 2007 though I tried.
7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
13th April and 21st May. Why? Both has to do with someone whom I am proud of.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I got a job. And I was damn good at it.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I lost a friend. Or someone I thought was a friend.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes. I did. Quite a lot of that.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My Laptop.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Chu's. I love her because she deserves it.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and/or depressed?
Kheps's. I would not lie anymore. Not to myself, not to others. I never expected what he did to me, and I shall not forget it any time sooner.
14. Where did most of your money go?
On clothes, food, and my laptop.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I got excited about Cassini's Division. And I got excited about my job too.
16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
Carnival of Rust - Poets of the Fall.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
Its fleeting, re. All these emotions. I don't know... I think I am on a different level of emotions altogether.
18. Thinner or fatter?
NOT TO BE DISCLOSED. CONTENT SUPPRESSED.
19. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish I had done more travelling.
20. What do you wish you'd done less of?
I wish I had not mourned and been sad about someone.
21. How will you be spending Christmas?
Already spent it at a party and then followed up by cooking lunch and getting drunk as a skunk in a funk.
22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
No. I gave up on it.
23. How many one night stands?
One night can't be spent standing...
Ah really, you think I will answer that? Mairi!!
24. What was your favourite TV programme?
This was the year of watching very less TV. But still, Jamie Oliver ruled.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Yes I do.
26. What was the best book you read?
Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Guy
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Cassini's Division.
28. What did you want and get?
I got passion.
29. What did you want and not get?
I did not get love.
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Taare Zameen Par.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Distributed chocolate at work place. Went out to the club, and got drunk because I turned 24.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Getting through M.Phil
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Zany.
34. What kept you sane?
Determination. And a lot of friends.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Amir Khan.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Nandigram.
37. Who did you miss?
I missed a lot of people. A lot. They all matter and I am exhausted just by thinking about them.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Its a tie. Dhruva and Pablo.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
Don't believe the truth. Very Oasis.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
My life..... Is nothing but this Carnival of Rust.
I am tired of this. Tired of everything I guess.
I want out.
Come on, hit me with a car so I can get amnesia and a new life!!
December 27, 2007
Joyful Joyful Joyful.....
Yes so the ordeal is finally over now. I am this close to being SUPERFATWOMAN of the year, because the last few days’ menu comprised of Lard, Fat, Bacon, Cheese, Butter and all things that should be banned by the rulebooks for being so yum.
Yes, right, this is a sort of food post. I seriously should look for a career in the gastronomical delights section of life because there is no one (and I proudly say that) who can be compared to me for eating and feeding people during this Christmas. And that too, without making any dessert at all.
Oh so it began when I carried around 3 pounds of beef pickle to my Prof’s place and played carom all evening over that and mulled wine. Prof and I gel well, so over the rapidly disappearing pickle, he sort of asked me to open the fridge, see what’s in it, and make whatever’s suitable out of it.
I went. I opened. I gaped.
Delight of delights! There sat an unopened, queen-size pack of Lindt Milk Chocolates.
At this point, I really do not need to go ahead and say that I put my face into that luscious mass of melting delights and sort of… licked and sucked and nipped and gulped. Maa… that was like… like getting kicked in the teeth and electrocuted in a good way. And Oh, then the Prof and I sort of settled down to talk over fried chicken and fine alcohol (My man, the Jack) and his wife came over and watched me with awe as I finished the entirety of the Lindt.
Yes, well, I have taken up walking and Tai Chi again.
And then there was The Pain.
My eyes suddenly began to itch. I have no clue why, but they sort of went cold and red. Sir declared I have a cold, and I said… NONONO I don’t … I so don’t (because I have all the plans made and nothing can go wrong now, can it?)
Oh it can. Resulting into me wearing a pair of OLD glasses to one of the snazziest parties of the year.
AH me! And oh, the hacking cough to go with it. Just my luck to get one day, I repeat, One DAY, off in one year, and it turns out to be glassy.
And I came back to my friend’s place and promptly fell asleep, only to wake four hours later to run back home because I needed to cook lunch.
The lunch was fabulous. I made Rum-Glazed Chicken… a slight deviation from the Original Roasted Turkey and Ham and Whatnot. I shall provide the recipe because I know that a few people reading this blog have an insane urge to cook and eat…
SO what you need is a chicken of considerable size (three pounds/1.3 kgs should just about do it)… prepared for roasting (i.e. without the icky squishy liver and other bits innit, and with the skin intact). You wash the chicken and check if there are any feathers sticking to the skin of the chicky. If so, take em out, I say! Then what you do is, make that headless baby sit tight while you bash up and chop about 10 large cloves of garlic, and mix it with a couple of tablespoon of marmalade, a tablespoon or so of honey, some salt, pepper to taste, a teaspoon of dried rosemary, and about 2 tablespoon of French mustard. At this point, let me tell you that I MAKE MY OWN MUSTARD but feel free to use any good brand available to you… you can even substitute it with kashundi which is Bengal’s answer to mustard. Now what you do is, sort of loosen the skin of the chicken from the meat around the breast and the thighs. This is a slightly tricky thing… but what you need to do is work around the cavity of the chicken, make a little cut on the skin, and then put your finger inside the hole and push it good!
Then comes the part that I love… The Bacon. I sort of put in the mixture that I made all over the chicken and give it a nice backrub. And then I cram as many slices bacon as possible inside the little pouches I made between the skin and the meat. This generally means around eight slices… but I keep around 12 in handy because after stuffing it, I put the remaining in the baking tray, beside the chicken.
The oven, meanwhile is on at 200 degrees C. I take a baking tray, smear it with A LOT OF BUTTER…(and I am saying this with a straight face, I am) around 1/3rd cup, and make the fat baby sit there with her kids around. For kids, read onions… as many possible, quartered, and (preferably) fried in some of the butter. I also put in the remaining bacon, and begin roasting.
About fifteen minutes later, I open the oven door, take out the remaining bacon gracing the sides… and nibble on them while the chicken’s being cooked.
About fifteen more minutes later, I turn my baby on its stomach, and allow him to bask in his glory. At this point I add around half a cup of rum around and over him, to make sure he tans nice.
He smells nice, too.
Then the oven is turned down to 180 degrees C and the chicken is allowed to cook till its soft and juicy and the pan is full of mostly charred onions… and the Burnt Crunchy Bits are sticking to it. Let me tell you, there is nothing more heavenly on this earth for some people to scrape out the Burnt Crunchy Bits and gobble them down. They basically rule, because you don’t know if its bacon or onion or any other goodies you get. Around 5 minutes before taking the chicken out, I sort of arrange a few cocktail sausages around the chicken and pour a lot of rum over them again to make sure they look and smell Rummy. And then I carry the whole lot out to the table and carve the chicken while everyone watches in rapt anticipation and reverence.
I cant go on like this. My Christmas dinner was basically a cocktail of drinks and medicine (oh, the hacking cough continues) followed by a massive hangover that spilled over the next day…
Yes, I sort of hate Christmas. Not for the food and friends and fun though. Just that, I still wait for some miracle to happen, when I am waiting alone in a dance floor full of gyrating people, or when I am walking alone to Park Street, or when I’m getting by with a little help from my friends.
I loved Christmas this year, though. It was made marvelous by the people around me. And it sort of brought in my view that though I can’t fight these tears from coming, I still can make it with these miraculous people around me who love me. And I can live with that.
Yes, right, this is a sort of food post. I seriously should look for a career in the gastronomical delights section of life because there is no one (and I proudly say that) who can be compared to me for eating and feeding people during this Christmas. And that too, without making any dessert at all.
Oh so it began when I carried around 3 pounds of beef pickle to my Prof’s place and played carom all evening over that and mulled wine. Prof and I gel well, so over the rapidly disappearing pickle, he sort of asked me to open the fridge, see what’s in it, and make whatever’s suitable out of it.
I went. I opened. I gaped.
Delight of delights! There sat an unopened, queen-size pack of Lindt Milk Chocolates.
At this point, I really do not need to go ahead and say that I put my face into that luscious mass of melting delights and sort of… licked and sucked and nipped and gulped. Maa… that was like… like getting kicked in the teeth and electrocuted in a good way. And Oh, then the Prof and I sort of settled down to talk over fried chicken and fine alcohol (My man, the Jack) and his wife came over and watched me with awe as I finished the entirety of the Lindt.
Yes, well, I have taken up walking and Tai Chi again.
And then there was The Pain.
My eyes suddenly began to itch. I have no clue why, but they sort of went cold and red. Sir declared I have a cold, and I said… NONONO I don’t … I so don’t (because I have all the plans made and nothing can go wrong now, can it?)
Oh it can. Resulting into me wearing a pair of OLD glasses to one of the snazziest parties of the year.
AH me! And oh, the hacking cough to go with it. Just my luck to get one day, I repeat, One DAY, off in one year, and it turns out to be glassy.
And I came back to my friend’s place and promptly fell asleep, only to wake four hours later to run back home because I needed to cook lunch.
The lunch was fabulous. I made Rum-Glazed Chicken… a slight deviation from the Original Roasted Turkey and Ham and Whatnot. I shall provide the recipe because I know that a few people reading this blog have an insane urge to cook and eat…
SO what you need is a chicken of considerable size (three pounds/1.3 kgs should just about do it)… prepared for roasting (i.e. without the icky squishy liver and other bits innit, and with the skin intact). You wash the chicken and check if there are any feathers sticking to the skin of the chicky. If so, take em out, I say! Then what you do is, make that headless baby sit tight while you bash up and chop about 10 large cloves of garlic, and mix it with a couple of tablespoon of marmalade, a tablespoon or so of honey, some salt, pepper to taste, a teaspoon of dried rosemary, and about 2 tablespoon of French mustard. At this point, let me tell you that I MAKE MY OWN MUSTARD but feel free to use any good brand available to you… you can even substitute it with kashundi which is Bengal’s answer to mustard. Now what you do is, sort of loosen the skin of the chicken from the meat around the breast and the thighs. This is a slightly tricky thing… but what you need to do is work around the cavity of the chicken, make a little cut on the skin, and then put your finger inside the hole and push it good!
Then comes the part that I love… The Bacon. I sort of put in the mixture that I made all over the chicken and give it a nice backrub. And then I cram as many slices bacon as possible inside the little pouches I made between the skin and the meat. This generally means around eight slices… but I keep around 12 in handy because after stuffing it, I put the remaining in the baking tray, beside the chicken.
The oven, meanwhile is on at 200 degrees C. I take a baking tray, smear it with A LOT OF BUTTER…(and I am saying this with a straight face, I am) around 1/3rd cup, and make the fat baby sit there with her kids around. For kids, read onions… as many possible, quartered, and (preferably) fried in some of the butter. I also put in the remaining bacon, and begin roasting.
About fifteen minutes later, I open the oven door, take out the remaining bacon gracing the sides… and nibble on them while the chicken’s being cooked.
About fifteen more minutes later, I turn my baby on its stomach, and allow him to bask in his glory. At this point I add around half a cup of rum around and over him, to make sure he tans nice.
He smells nice, too.
Then the oven is turned down to 180 degrees C and the chicken is allowed to cook till its soft and juicy and the pan is full of mostly charred onions… and the Burnt Crunchy Bits are sticking to it. Let me tell you, there is nothing more heavenly on this earth for some people to scrape out the Burnt Crunchy Bits and gobble them down. They basically rule, because you don’t know if its bacon or onion or any other goodies you get. Around 5 minutes before taking the chicken out, I sort of arrange a few cocktail sausages around the chicken and pour a lot of rum over them again to make sure they look and smell Rummy. And then I carry the whole lot out to the table and carve the chicken while everyone watches in rapt anticipation and reverence.
I cant go on like this. My Christmas dinner was basically a cocktail of drinks and medicine (oh, the hacking cough continues) followed by a massive hangover that spilled over the next day…
Yes, I sort of hate Christmas. Not for the food and friends and fun though. Just that, I still wait for some miracle to happen, when I am waiting alone in a dance floor full of gyrating people, or when I am walking alone to Park Street, or when I’m getting by with a little help from my friends.
I loved Christmas this year, though. It was made marvelous by the people around me. And it sort of brought in my view that though I can’t fight these tears from coming, I still can make it with these miraculous people around me who love me. And I can live with that.
December 20, 2007
Tis that Time of the Year Again...
For those who are unaware, let me tell you, I. HATE. CHRISTMAS. Mother Mary Made a Mistake. We are paying for it.
Woteva.
I know. I sound mean and nonreligious and is probably fit to be tied and hung by the thumb or even worse parts of my anatomy... a shiver runs through my body by the very mention of those kind of stuff.
Ah well. The other day I realized that this world is pretty messed up and all around us food is being wasted while people out in Purulia are dying because they do not have anything to eat.
Woteva.
I mean, who cares? Do you? Do I? Do we care if we know that street girls are raped by men at the age of 4 and most of the times it is their fathers who do that? Do we care if we Learn that .... Oh, in Sonagachi, there are nearly ten thousand sex workers out of whom around 70% are underage?
Woteva.
And here we sit in the sty of our contentment and drink rum and sing songs and dont really care even if we realize that someone out there is sitting by a little fire made with old newspapers and cardboard pieces gathered from gutterside and nodding his head in silent approval of some rhyme that is all in his head.
And winter is upon us.
Woteva.
And someone out there is working, hunched over, trying to fix a broken carburettor for ten rupees at the end of the hour, so that his little boy can have a piece of Christmas cake at the end of the day.
My days and ways are losing focus. I wander through the city's belly and look around. In some corner I find a group of men snorting brown sugar and laughing out loud.... Their nasal laughs turn my stomach as I pass them and they pass comments.
And the old bookshop I used to go to whenever I hit College Street is gone. Street fights got the old man who ran it killed. Its being turned into a Engineering Books stall.
Season : Winter.
Time : Yuletide.
Its the time. It is flying away now. I hope this too shall pass.
Woteva.
I know. I sound mean and nonreligious and is probably fit to be tied and hung by the thumb or even worse parts of my anatomy... a shiver runs through my body by the very mention of those kind of stuff.
Ah well. The other day I realized that this world is pretty messed up and all around us food is being wasted while people out in Purulia are dying because they do not have anything to eat.
Woteva.
I mean, who cares? Do you? Do I? Do we care if we know that street girls are raped by men at the age of 4 and most of the times it is their fathers who do that? Do we care if we Learn that .... Oh, in Sonagachi, there are nearly ten thousand sex workers out of whom around 70% are underage?
Woteva.
And here we sit in the sty of our contentment and drink rum and sing songs and dont really care even if we realize that someone out there is sitting by a little fire made with old newspapers and cardboard pieces gathered from gutterside and nodding his head in silent approval of some rhyme that is all in his head.
And winter is upon us.
Woteva.
And someone out there is working, hunched over, trying to fix a broken carburettor for ten rupees at the end of the hour, so that his little boy can have a piece of Christmas cake at the end of the day.
My days and ways are losing focus. I wander through the city's belly and look around. In some corner I find a group of men snorting brown sugar and laughing out loud.... Their nasal laughs turn my stomach as I pass them and they pass comments.
And the old bookshop I used to go to whenever I hit College Street is gone. Street fights got the old man who ran it killed. Its being turned into a Engineering Books stall.
Season : Winter.
Time : Yuletide.
Its the time. It is flying away now. I hope this too shall pass.
December 14, 2007
Time Flies...
Its been a year, na?
More than that. Its been a year and more.
And I admit it, I fell for You. You were everything I ever dreamed of.
But then, I could not match the real You. I could not. I tried to find You but I failed. I tried to find You in so many men but I failed. Because You are in my mind, in my soul, in my heart. Heart of my heart, You remain inside, and I have been looking for You everywhere.
I am stupid.
But now I know. I know that You will never come. Because You are already there. Deep inside me. You are there for eternity because You are immutable. A concept.
I shall let you rest. You are there, I know. Let me move on. Because I have realized that You were something I created. You were a myth.
You........ were a dream.
Now I shall wake.
Come to me.
"And I was desolate and sick of an old passion...."
More than that. Its been a year and more.
And I admit it, I fell for You. You were everything I ever dreamed of.
But then, I could not match the real You. I could not. I tried to find You but I failed. I tried to find You in so many men but I failed. Because You are in my mind, in my soul, in my heart. Heart of my heart, You remain inside, and I have been looking for You everywhere.
I am stupid.
But now I know. I know that You will never come. Because You are already there. Deep inside me. You are there for eternity because You are immutable. A concept.
I shall let you rest. You are there, I know. Let me move on. Because I have realized that You were something I created. You were a myth.
You........ were a dream.
Now I shall wake.
Come to me.
"And I was desolate and sick of an old passion...."
-------Dowson
It hurts to breathe. But I need it to live. And I shall.
As usual.
As usual.
December 09, 2007
Tagged again.
Now Suki does it. Ok I say.... Well this is interesting I guess... Lets see what it entails.
Ten things I'll do by thirty....
First of all... Let me go ahead and panic and say.... OMIGOD I shall be thirty in SIX.... SIX.... SIX... years.... Ooooohkay..... lets see what I want to do.
10. I want to sky dive. Or bungee jump. Or both. Reason? I have vertigo.
9. Get myself a Tattoo. A proper one, preferably from Goa.
8. That means, I will be going to Goa. WHICH is again, on my list. And I want to stay in a shack there... A proper shack.
7. Make love.
6. The previous comment sort of brought us to the eternal question... Who with? I hope to find the right person to do it with. Right, here I would like to comment on the damned luck I have when I go around looking for the right person... and end up with The Jerk. The Other day I was sort of running an experiment of calling people up and asking them... Erm do you think I fall for the Jerk? I ran this through Andro, Kaichu, D, Peep, Manzy... and guess what? Apart from Manzy, all of them agreed that I fall for jerks. Manzy sort of tried to save grace by saying.... "You fall for the wrong type."
I am stupid. I fall for arrogance. Shit.
5. Live. Alone. Without the family. Oooof, I can't take the family no more.
4. Slim down. Yes, I have had enough with the curveball jokes and the bump-and-grind jokes and the big woman jokes.
3. Be romanced. The way I want to be. Proper courtship.
2. Make people look at me with respect in their eyes. Because I have earned it (With Aretha Franklin singing it in the background...)
1. Fall in love.
Yes, I know. I am stupid. And yes, I am romantic, and allthat. But tonight I saw my Adt get married. My best nerd of a friend... head of the high school priss club... the girl I loved because she was the best defensive strategy planner ever. And looking at her today sort of made me realize that time's a-wasting. I went to the party for a few hours.... because I could not bear not to go. And when I was coming back.... Sayani was in the car with me, staring outside... her eyes were blank. I knew what she was thinking... I was thinking the same thing....
What am I doing?
Its such a question of a question for a girl to see someone she loves fall in love and marry. It makes her biological clock go CUCKOO-CUCKOO-CUCKOO within her soft shell. I wish I was not sentimental. I wish I was not this nyaaka. But it DOES NOT HAPPEN. Really. It makes me wonder even more What the Effing Hell am I doing with my life and is it worthwhile?
Yanyway.... back to my post.
10 things I should be grateful for....
These are not marked... simply because they have no right or left order.... no priorities. Because all of them are sort of equally important.
Ten things I'll do by thirty....
First of all... Let me go ahead and panic and say.... OMIGOD I shall be thirty in SIX.... SIX.... SIX... years.... Ooooohkay..... lets see what I want to do.
10. I want to sky dive. Or bungee jump. Or both. Reason? I have vertigo.
9. Get myself a Tattoo. A proper one, preferably from Goa.
8. That means, I will be going to Goa. WHICH is again, on my list. And I want to stay in a shack there... A proper shack.
7. Make love.
6. The previous comment sort of brought us to the eternal question... Who with? I hope to find the right person to do it with. Right, here I would like to comment on the damned luck I have when I go around looking for the right person... and end up with The Jerk. The Other day I was sort of running an experiment of calling people up and asking them... Erm do you think I fall for the Jerk? I ran this through Andro, Kaichu, D, Peep, Manzy... and guess what? Apart from Manzy, all of them agreed that I fall for jerks. Manzy sort of tried to save grace by saying.... "You fall for the wrong type."
I am stupid. I fall for arrogance. Shit.
5. Live. Alone. Without the family. Oooof, I can't take the family no more.
4. Slim down. Yes, I have had enough with the curveball jokes and the bump-and-grind jokes and the big woman jokes.
3. Be romanced. The way I want to be. Proper courtship.
2. Make people look at me with respect in their eyes. Because I have earned it (With Aretha Franklin singing it in the background...)
1. Fall in love.
Yes, I know. I am stupid. And yes, I am romantic, and allthat. But tonight I saw my Adt get married. My best nerd of a friend... head of the high school priss club... the girl I loved because she was the best defensive strategy planner ever. And looking at her today sort of made me realize that time's a-wasting. I went to the party for a few hours.... because I could not bear not to go. And when I was coming back.... Sayani was in the car with me, staring outside... her eyes were blank. I knew what she was thinking... I was thinking the same thing....
What am I doing?
Its such a question of a question for a girl to see someone she loves fall in love and marry. It makes her biological clock go CUCKOO-CUCKOO-CUCKOO within her soft shell. I wish I was not sentimental. I wish I was not this nyaaka. But it DOES NOT HAPPEN. Really. It makes me wonder even more What the Effing Hell am I doing with my life and is it worthwhile?
Yanyway.... back to my post.
10 things I should be grateful for....
These are not marked... simply because they have no right or left order.... no priorities. Because all of them are sort of equally important.
- My school. And my college. And my University. I respect you, I love you. You gave me build. I do not know how I would have survived some years without your grace.
- Friendship. They have lifted me up when I was in need. They have sheltered me when I was weak. I cannot tell you how much I adore you.... but you know who you are and what you mean to me for simply being there... be it on the other end of the phone, or the other side of this world. For those moments of demolishing a tuna sandwich together, or loitering around in search of kaash phool, or drinking and singing at Oly, or walking miles and miles anywhere... with no direction home, or working together in utter silence, feeling the presence of the other right beside me.
- My room. Its me. Its mine. Its all I have. I can make it or break it as I want to. It does not reject me.... ever. It makes me who I am... and I mess it up as much as I want to. Its my mess and I love it. Aamar ghore aami raani. And my pets who adorn it. I love my Ghotu. Oolikibaajepakhilebaba!!
- My books. Beautiful... you are. All of you. I love you to the point of obsession. I adore you... I worship you. You are what I look for in the end of the day...
- Monty Python. Terry Pratchett. Neil Gaiman. Alan Moore. Borat.
- The Sister. Though she was a result of Absolute Bloody Carelessness in the Parents' part, she gave me a lot. She takes a lot too, but thats for another post when I am pissed with her. Right now I am wearing a little pearl pendant she gave me once. Its beautiful. And she saved for months for it. Makes me want to think sometimes. About me. About her. About how I would stop myself from beating her into a pulp.
- Andromeda. For giving me grace. And for the walks.
- Kaichu. For never mincing the truth.
- Pablo. For scolding me, fighting with me and for giving me long lectures.
- Resilience. With which I can tolerate Andromeda's nyakaami(I daresay I want to slap her sometimes when she snivels and goes Boo Hoo), Chu's eating habit (And trust me I want to put her on a DIET so fast....), and Pablo's Dramabaaji (He should SO be in a Bangladeshi cinema).
December 08, 2007
Me and my Shadow
Ok I have been tagged by people.
Rules:
1. Put your MP3 player on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write the name of the song no matter what. No cheating.
(In place of comments, I post a line from each song that seems to be apt for the post)
IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY”? YOU SAY?
Stupid Girls - Pink
baby if i act like... THAT!!
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Papercut - Linkin Park
Its like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
Its like the face inside is right beneath my skin
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Testify - Rage Against The Machines
Your temple it calms me
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Hallowed be Thy Name - Iron Maiden
Catch my soul cause its willing to fly away
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Ripple - The Grateful Dead
If I knew the way I would take you home
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Saawan me Lag Gayi Aag - Mika
Sune na sune na paagal diwaani...
Aaj na soya saari raat dil mera haay....
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Bholi Surat Dil ke Khote - Lata Mangeshkar
Naam bare hai darshan chhote
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Psycho Monkey - Joe Satriani
Er this has no lyrics. But the title sorta explains everything.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
La Tortura - Shakira
Ay amor me duele tanto (A love hurts both)
WHAT IS 2+2?
I Heard it Through the Grapevine - Marvin Gaye
I bet you're wondering how I knew
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Nothing Else Matters - Metallica
Trust I seek and I find in you
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Drive my Car - The Beatles
I got no car and it's breaking my heart,
but I've found a driver and that's a start.
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Nahi rakhta dil mein Kuch - Lucky Ali
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Stairway to Heaven - Frank Zappa's version
No body, but nobody knows what Zappa can do to this song. He is GOD. Or someone close to Him.
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Sutta - The Zeest
Bhenchod, baanchod, bhenchod baanchod bhenchod baanchod....
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Space Oddity - David Bowie
I'm feeling very still
And I think my spaceship knows which way to go
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Dirty Harry - Gorillaz
Ain't got a chance, we ain't got a chance...
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
We didn't Start the Fire - Billy Joel
It was always burning...
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Highway to Hell - AC/DC
I'm on my way to the promise land
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
You do something to me - Paul Weller
Mixing my emotions that throws me back again
Hanging on the wire, I'm waiting for the change
I'm dancing through the fire, just to catch a flame
an' feel real again
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Ghetto Superstar - Pras feat. Mya and ODB
The Supreme-dream-team always up with a scheme
WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Me and my Shadow - Frank Sinatra
Life is gonna be we-wow-whee! For my shadow and me.
Rules:
1. Put your MP3 player on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write the name of the song no matter what. No cheating.
(In place of comments, I post a line from each song that seems to be apt for the post)
IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY”? YOU SAY?
Stupid Girls - Pink
baby if i act like... THAT!!
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Papercut - Linkin Park
Its like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
Its like the face inside is right beneath my skin
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Testify - Rage Against The Machines
Your temple it calms me
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Hallowed be Thy Name - Iron Maiden
Catch my soul cause its willing to fly away
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Ripple - The Grateful Dead
If I knew the way I would take you home
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Saawan me Lag Gayi Aag - Mika
Sune na sune na paagal diwaani...
Aaj na soya saari raat dil mera haay....
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Bholi Surat Dil ke Khote - Lata Mangeshkar
Naam bare hai darshan chhote
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Psycho Monkey - Joe Satriani
Er this has no lyrics. But the title sorta explains everything.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
La Tortura - Shakira
Ay amor me duele tanto (A love hurts both)
WHAT IS 2+2?
I Heard it Through the Grapevine - Marvin Gaye
I bet you're wondering how I knew
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Nothing Else Matters - Metallica
Trust I seek and I find in you
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Drive my Car - The Beatles
I got no car and it's breaking my heart,
but I've found a driver and that's a start.
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Nahi rakhta dil mein Kuch - Lucky Ali
Nahi rakhta dil mein kuch,
Rakhta hoon zubaan par,
samjhe na apne bhi kabhi.
Kah nahi sakta main kya,
sahtaa hoon chupa kar,
Ek aesi aadat hai meri.
Sabhi to hain jinse milta hoon,
Sahi jo hai inse kahta hoon,
Jo samajhta hoon.
maine dekha nahi rang dil aaya hai sirf adaa par,
Ek aesi chahat hai meri.
Baharon ke ghere se laaya main dil sajaa kar.
Ek aesi sohbat hai meri.
Saye mein chaye rehta hu
Aankein bichaye rehta hu
Jinse milta hu
kitno ko dekha hain hamne yaha
kutch sikha hain hamne unse naya
Pehle phursat thi ab hasratein samakar
Ek aaisi uljhan hain meri
Khud chalkar rukta hu jaha jis jagah par
Ek aaisi sarhad hain meri
Kahne se bhi main darta hoon
Apno ki dhun mein rahta hoon
Kar kya sakta Hoon
De sakta hoon main thoda pyar yahan par,
Jitni haisiyat hai meri.
Reh jaaun sabke dil mein dil ko basakar
Ek aaisi niyat hain meri
Ho jaye to bhi razi hoon.
Kho jaau to main baaki hoon.
Yun samajhta hoon.
Raste na badle na badla jahan
Phir kyon badalte kadam hain yahanI could not decide which line to keep.WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Stairway to Heaven - Frank Zappa's version
No body, but nobody knows what Zappa can do to this song. He is GOD. Or someone close to Him.
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Sutta - The Zeest
Bhenchod, baanchod, bhenchod baanchod bhenchod baanchod....
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Space Oddity - David Bowie
I'm feeling very still
And I think my spaceship knows which way to go
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Dirty Harry - Gorillaz
Ain't got a chance, we ain't got a chance...
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
We didn't Start the Fire - Billy Joel
It was always burning...
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Highway to Hell - AC/DC
I'm on my way to the promise land
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
You do something to me - Paul Weller
Mixing my emotions that throws me back again
Hanging on the wire, I'm waiting for the change
I'm dancing through the fire, just to catch a flame
an' feel real again
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Ghetto Superstar - Pras feat. Mya and ODB
The Supreme-dream-team always up with a scheme
WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Me and my Shadow - Frank Sinatra
Life is gonna be we-wow-whee! For my shadow and me.
December 06, 2007
Marital Honours...
So the health is sort of confining me to my room nowadays. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to learn that the mother is taking great advantage of it and decided to add me to a matrimonial website. Yes Yes, Rimi has had a lot to say about the matrimonial thingy. I call that.... household hazard. Every Sunday morning my mother sits down in front of any Bengali newspaper and peruses with a magnifying glass through the columns. No joke, she uses a MAGNIFYING GLASS.
Anyway, the benefits of websites have come through and the search has gone online. Here are a few samples.
The Virgin.
"Hi to all. This is the first time I am here. Well describing myself is a difficult task for me especially here but in short I am a simple guy with simple values but extremely ambitious in terms of my career and regarding my life partner I want a simple, nice girl with little values and who could be my best friend before my second half."
We shall await the second half. Picture abhi bhi baaki hai mere dost.
The Beautificator.
"Regarding family background, father retired IFS officer, mother expired when I was only 12, two elder sis, one married. Do not have any bad habbits. i do smoke and drink occasionaly. Seeking for a life partner with whom i can share my thoughts and offcourse love. I am a very lovable type of a person , I think u will admire me more when u will meet me. I am very down to earth like a person. Hoping for a right match. She dont have to be beautyful but I desire my wife to be beautyful from heart."
Offcourse you shall get someone. Just not me. I am not beautyful from heart. I have lungs and gobs of fluid in it. Cholesterol-pressurizes the area where my heart once was.
The Gardener
"Looking for someone who has some aim in life, that may be towards the ultimate growth of her life. "
By God, dil garden garden ho gaya....
"Hi, good to see u watching my profile. i beleive that word's can never describe any one's personality b'cause their is vast difference bt'wen a language and emotions. i dont have any specfic hobbies at present but ussualy i like to go on long drives,have north indian or mughal dishes and gaze at the sky.I am tall, wheatish & handsome Ha.Ha ha...not at all. My Preference : i have no preferences as such except that our wavelength should match."
All right, this is All India Radio combined with an astronomer. I do claim that I have been guilty of stargazing at times.... generally at three in the morning when the world is asleep and I am missing my job and feeling hungry because I know that in one part of Kolkata there is someone eating chicken fried rice and running back to work... Ah work! What you made me!
The Soft Threller
"Hello,I am very simple and down-to-earth person.I like reading books(threller),listing music,surfing internet.I am whitesh,slim body type.I think that my life partner would be my best friend and I can create my future plan consulting with her.I am indian citizen by birth.I am not smoking and nither drinking.I have an elder brother brother and no sister.My father is an retired employee and my mother in a govt employee.My elder brother is a businessman and i am a computer programmer working in a software firm in saltlake,kolkata."
I could deal with the brother. I could deal with the slim body type. I cant deal with thrells. Sorry.
The Foodie
"I like reading books, watching Good movies (irrespective of language/country), i trek a lot. I like riding bikes. I like serenity and less crowded place. I own one Electra from enfield company. My complexion is not fair....well...not dark also! i am little overweight. I plan to marry by 2007. I am an Indian. I love to stay in India. My profession has many time tempted me to go abroad but i always humbly and politely avoided those 'opportunities'. Well... i like children. but unfortunately as i am still unmarried and i do not have the 'skill' or 'virtue' (whichever way u like to call) i failed to father any child till date! even failed to impress any girl at the first place. well.... ok, let me confess, i never tried to do so, honestly. I drink, occationally and only with my few old friends. I smoke, only when i am dipressed or down. By family i an not a vegetarian. but i do not eat fish. As my father deceased in my childhood, my mother preferred for veg food. so, from childhood i liked veg food. even now, 20-22 days in a month i take veg food. otherwise, i do not have any taboo for any food. I passed 10th standard from a bengali medium school. then 10+2 from a college in science. i completed my B.Sc (Physics) from CU. Then i completed my MCA from IGNOU. then i joined a software company as a computer programmer. In the year 2004 i left the company and opened my own software development firm. Right now i am in struggling period with my new adventure (read business). I am looking for a female. not male! She must be educated and jovial. and... as much honest as possible. I do not have any prejudices about caste, religion, financial status or any thing. I stay alone with my old metarnal uncle. I cook our food myself. i stay at central kolkata, in an apartment. .... well, thats all for the time being.You should not smoke (preference). If you do not smoke - I will not smoke, even when i will quarrel with my wife! "
This profile began with such promise. Truly at first I wanted to really go through the profile. But then came the food. And then the smoking bit.
The Primitive
"I am looking for a suitable match for me who would adjust to family values and adjust with the family cultures. Should not be too modern"
Boss we are postmodern here.
Yes, my loony bun is fine.
Peepsy's even better, but you better be liking my spunk because I am at the end of my tether here.
Oh, and have I told you how I lost a match?
The prospective In-Laws came to see me at Swabhumi, because they did not believe in conventional things, and wanted to meet me on a NEUTRAL ground. So I went, I had lots of good food on them because I am not supposed to have any according to the house rules and docs. And then I told them, while they were peering in a shop, "Oh I see someone... waitaminute I need to say hi...."
And I escaped, ran and came home. And when they called, because they were wondering where I was... I switched off the cell phone. And when they called the house, I assumed the voice of my mother and accused them of looting me away. They were afraid. Never called back.
Yes I am mad. And mean. And devoid of social graces. Sue me!
Anyway, the benefits of websites have come through and the search has gone online. Here are a few samples.
The Virgin.
"Hi to all. This is the first time I am here. Well describing myself is a difficult task for me especially here but in short I am a simple guy with simple values but extremely ambitious in terms of my career and regarding my life partner I want a simple, nice girl with little values and who could be my best friend before my second half."
We shall await the second half. Picture abhi bhi baaki hai mere dost.
The Beautificator.
"Regarding family background, father retired IFS officer, mother expired when I was only 12, two elder sis, one married. Do not have any bad habbits. i do smoke and drink occasionaly. Seeking for a life partner with whom i can share my thoughts and offcourse love. I am a very lovable type of a person , I think u will admire me more when u will meet me. I am very down to earth like a person. Hoping for a right match. She dont have to be beautyful but I desire my wife to be beautyful from heart."
Offcourse you shall get someone. Just not me. I am not beautyful from heart. I have lungs and gobs of fluid in it. Cholesterol-pressurizes the area where my heart once was.
The Gardener
"Looking for someone who has some aim in life, that may be towards the ultimate growth of her life. "
By God, dil garden garden ho gaya....
"Hi, good to see u watching my profile. i beleive that word's can never describe any one's personality b'cause their is vast difference bt'wen a language and emotions. i dont have any specfic hobbies at present but ussualy i like to go on long drives,have north indian or mughal dishes and gaze at the sky.I am tall, wheatish & handsome Ha.Ha ha...not at all. My Preference : i have no preferences as such except that our wavelength should match."
All right, this is All India Radio combined with an astronomer. I do claim that I have been guilty of stargazing at times.... generally at three in the morning when the world is asleep and I am missing my job and feeling hungry because I know that in one part of Kolkata there is someone eating chicken fried rice and running back to work... Ah work! What you made me!
The Soft Threller
"Hello,I am very simple and down-to-earth person.I like reading books(threller),listing music,surfing internet.I am whitesh,slim body type.I think that my life partner would be my best friend and I can create my future plan consulting with her.I am indian citizen by birth.I am not smoking and nither drinking.I have an elder brother brother and no sister.My father is an retired employee and my mother in a govt employee.My elder brother is a businessman and i am a computer programmer working in a software firm in saltlake,kolkata."
I could deal with the brother. I could deal with the slim body type. I cant deal with thrells. Sorry.
The Foodie
"I like reading books, watching Good movies (irrespective of language/country), i trek a lot. I like riding bikes. I like serenity and less crowded place. I own one Electra from enfield company. My complexion is not fair....well...not dark also! i am little overweight. I plan to marry by 2007. I am an Indian. I love to stay in India. My profession has many time tempted me to go abroad but i always humbly and politely avoided those 'opportunities'. Well... i like children. but unfortunately as i am still unmarried and i do not have the 'skill' or 'virtue' (whichever way u like to call) i failed to father any child till date! even failed to impress any girl at the first place. well.... ok, let me confess, i never tried to do so, honestly. I drink, occationally and only with my few old friends. I smoke, only when i am dipressed or down. By family i an not a vegetarian. but i do not eat fish. As my father deceased in my childhood, my mother preferred for veg food. so, from childhood i liked veg food. even now, 20-22 days in a month i take veg food. otherwise, i do not have any taboo for any food. I passed 10th standard from a bengali medium school. then 10+2 from a college in science. i completed my B.Sc (Physics) from CU. Then i completed my MCA from IGNOU. then i joined a software company as a computer programmer. In the year 2004 i left the company and opened my own software development firm. Right now i am in struggling period with my new adventure (read business). I am looking for a female. not male! She must be educated and jovial. and... as much honest as possible. I do not have any prejudices about caste, religion, financial status or any thing. I stay alone with my old metarnal uncle. I cook our food myself. i stay at central kolkata, in an apartment. .... well, thats all for the time being.You should not smoke (preference). If you do not smoke - I will not smoke, even when i will quarrel with my wife! "
This profile began with such promise. Truly at first I wanted to really go through the profile. But then came the food. And then the smoking bit.
The Primitive
"I am looking for a suitable match for me who would adjust to family values and adjust with the family cultures. Should not be too modern"
Boss we are postmodern here.
Yes, my loony bun is fine.
Peepsy's even better, but you better be liking my spunk because I am at the end of my tether here.
Oh, and have I told you how I lost a match?
The prospective In-Laws came to see me at Swabhumi, because they did not believe in conventional things, and wanted to meet me on a NEUTRAL ground. So I went, I had lots of good food on them because I am not supposed to have any according to the house rules and docs. And then I told them, while they were peering in a shop, "Oh I see someone... waitaminute I need to say hi...."
And I escaped, ran and came home. And when they called, because they were wondering where I was... I switched off the cell phone. And when they called the house, I assumed the voice of my mother and accused them of looting me away. They were afraid. Never called back.
Yes I am mad. And mean. And devoid of social graces. Sue me!
December 04, 2007
Umm.
Well.
I.
Sort of began slowly, but the flow is coming in now. Its been a long, haunting day with miles of melodrama and people banging their heads against the wall (read the wall of this room) and finally I threw up my hands.
Enough, said I.
I stared at my fate and proclaimed it down. Down with the sickness. I am tired of it.
But unfortunately, it is not tiring of me. Its eating my core. Slowly.
On another hand, the parents are being together and the twenty-fifth anniversary has come up and they have successfully drunk-dialed people and as a result I have had to call back and apologize to people who I have no clue about. With the THROAT that seems to me to be eternally sore now.
I hate my house. I want to run away. Someone, get me a Lamborghini and I would. I would also need a driver, so there!!
Lamborghini. I have expensive taste.
I.
Sort of began slowly, but the flow is coming in now. Its been a long, haunting day with miles of melodrama and people banging their heads against the wall (read the wall of this room) and finally I threw up my hands.
Enough, said I.
I stared at my fate and proclaimed it down. Down with the sickness. I am tired of it.
But unfortunately, it is not tiring of me. Its eating my core. Slowly.
On another hand, the parents are being together and the twenty-fifth anniversary has come up and they have successfully drunk-dialed people and as a result I have had to call back and apologize to people who I have no clue about. With the THROAT that seems to me to be eternally sore now.
I hate my house. I want to run away. Someone, get me a Lamborghini and I would. I would also need a driver, so there!!
Lamborghini. I have expensive taste.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)