A Liar's Guide to the Dreams..

In the dead of the night, the dreams come in one by one. They cling to you with soft acceptance, and they know it all..

These are the dreams which leave a note of remembrance. They cling to our tongues like a bittersweet delight.

They feel familiar, though their flavour melts in the mouth... and taste distinctly unusual.


August 02, 2006

And we begin the Pujo Countdown

Panu the shameless bargainer has yet again begun her Eternal Quest for the Perfect Top. Those who come to their workplace everyday in the same pair of torn jeans with a scratchy crotch never knows what a buxom lady with an eye for Gucchi goes through before the ten-armed Goddess appears with her four semi-freak kids (one of them semi-bestial, I daresay).

On a cold day in end July, Panu was wandering lonely as a cloud near Gariahat, Kolkata, minding her own way, being delicately groped by an elderly uncle whose left foot was dangerously near her stilettos, when lo and behold! She spied from yon bus window the word Sale and 50% off on the doors of Pantaloons.

Oh Joy! Oh Glory! Oh Joyful Glory! What gratifying sight that was! A place to shop without the hassle of people pushing her sideways, no worry of a picked pocket, a safe place to keep her heavy bag, and above all-----------
the changing room where she could try out all the stuffs she carried.
YAY!
The very next day brought Panu to Pantaloons.
Oh no! How can this be?? Only yesterday did the sale begin... how come so many people stood before her, waiting for their baggages to be hefted in by the security people???
The interior looked no better.
People here, people there. People virtually everywhere.
She ran towards the Kurta section. Pantaloons (till very recently) sported a fab-u-lous kurtis. She had espied one a mere week ago. Oh please God! Let there be top.
No sign of the damn thing. Who was the dumbass who said God is great? Take it from me dude, he is'nt.
Suddenly, a glimmer of burnt orange beckoned from a faraway corner. Panu whirled.
Ohdearlord!!!
You ARE there!!
Thank you lord... thank you thankyou thankyou----
Oh damn, who's that fat-arsed cow and whats she doing staring at me like that there?? Why is she glaring at me??
Oh!
That was the mirror.
Well, she snatched the desired kurta and ran towards the changing room...
Twenty metres to touchdown...
Fifteen.....
Ten.....
Eight.......
Oh damn!!! Whats that line?
Caught!
A long line befell Panu. Saree clad women preceeded Panu. She stared helplessly at the long queue. Women glared. It would take at least an hour to get to the changing room.
Reluctantly she turned around.... resignedly she called the valiant Andromeda, her trusty sidekick.
So here I have a great question that I must ask you....
And here the eternal question of womanhood is asked----
Is it looking good on me?? Am I looking good in this??
Two questions with fabulously different senses....
Anyway, Andromeda shook her head and decided to be diplomatic.
You look good in both.
Just when I dont need diplomacy.
One desperate attempt was made. Panu picked up one and headed for the cash counter.
Payments made, she came out.
And Andromeda had to open her mouth.
You know, I think the other one was better.
OH Darn it!!

6 comments:

Rapid I Movement said...

Oh damn, who's that fat-arsed cow and whats she doing staring at me like that there?? Why is she glaring at me??
Oh!
That was the mirror.


Jyaa-taa!
I feel like saying as I was once told about The Highwayman..."fabulous, especially if recited aloud".

rainbeau_peep said...

ekhon thekei pujo shopping?! ki kando. i crave your purse, your wallet, your handbag.
and if you're in pantaloons and by a stroke of luck find something in a decent cut, be rest assured there will be fifty confused women ahead of u with ahundred items of clothing waiting in line for the changing room. which is why it is prudent to throw caution to the winds and change outside the changing room.
Rather, pretend you're about to start taking your top off - like, talk loudly about your plan to do as much, then go behind the bra counter to execute said plan. before you know it, anxious store assistants will be leading you to the always-empty men's changing room. nyeh heh heh.

jhantu said...

Were the saree clad deluge in front of you out there to try our kurtis and tops as well, that being the case the time to reach the chnging room might never had come, so say a thank you to the andromeda

panu said...

Rapid I movement - Highwayman came riding riding up to the damn changing room---??

Peep - honey, not a bad idea and all... but to tell the truth, the panta-loons addled my brain. Btw, did you like the damn thing?? I wore it last thursday.

Jhantu - er... actually at that point I was willing to strangle her, so er... NO I DONT WANNA THANK HER!!

Brazen Head said...

oh the existential pains of the rich:-) But the semi-joke aside, when did Calcutta become a mini-Bombay? All Cal had was a UC of B on Park street (or one of the by-lanes back when I used to roam the streets.

And the elderly uncles were much nicer. (What do I know, I am becoming a semi-elderly uncle myself against my will. However, I don't approve of slimey groping, uncle or not)

panu said...

hnu hnu bawa, you should SO come down to kolkata for a stroll.... matha ghure jaabe mairi!!