A Liar's Guide to the Dreams..

In the dead of the night, the dreams come in one by one. They cling to you with soft acceptance, and they know it all..

These are the dreams which leave a note of remembrance. They cling to our tongues like a bittersweet delight.

They feel familiar, though their flavour melts in the mouth... and taste distinctly unusual.

January 27, 2009

Of Instilled Ideas

Some people are biased. Some people possess ideas. A friend of mine holds knowledge to be the ultimate key to find happiness. Another believes that intelligence is the best way to assess a human being.

I would like to take this opportunity to let people know that I have been familiar with extremely intelligent people, and have realized they are just as gullible and stupid as those who decided that intelligence was not their forte.

In some places, I have been called rough, crude and vulgar. In some other, stupid has been the order of my day. But I like the term obtuse. I like it because it can lead into so many different conclusions.

While I do not like passing judgments right and left, I do believe that some people make friends with the "Right", the "Intelligent", the "Cool" and the "Happening" and they refuse to see people who does not go with their formed opinions. I have met people who have judged (among others) me and dismissed, and I have taken real pleasure in making them re-analyze and revise their opinion about me. Gives me a perverse pleasure to see people who at first glance would turn away, turn back and smile or even hold their houses open for me to enter.

Somehow this is turning into a slightly bitter post. Its just that, I really hate people who boxes others up into tiny slots based on their race, sex, nationality, individuality, personality and colour.

January 21, 2009

mandy again...

1. what was the last thing you bought from woolies?

Whats Woolies?

2. what's your relationship status?

I have a life. And someone to call my own.

3. the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

The person.

4. do you have a best friend of the opposite sex?

I do. Three.

5. do you keep in touch with ex's?

Totally. Love them, in fact.

6. favourite film?

Singin' In The Rain

7. play an instrument?

Taanpura according to the raga

8. favourite two bands?

Poets of the Fall and Grateful Dead.

9. favourite two artists?

Neil Gaiman and Goya

10. favourite artist?

Kon Khane mairi? Okay, this is easy. Sister.

11. tell us something that will surprise people about you.

I am stupid.

12. some things you wished you could do more with:

Life. More and More of it.

13. do you write?

yes. When I feel like it.

14. where would you like to live?

Near the beach. In a shack.

15. eye colour:


16. what did you think of school?

I loved mine.

17. anything you're trying to learn at the moment?

Yes. Salsa.

18. do you have a tattoo?


19. what book are you reading at the moment?

After the Funeral. Agatha Christie

20. what are you listening to at the moment?

Days go by.

21. do you own any foreign language films?

Yes. Autumn Sonata.

21. how many languages do you speak?

English, Bengali, Hindi, Bhojpuri, and a bit of Spanish.

22. the last show you went to?

Don't remember. Okay. Onko.

23. favourite flower?


24. hugs or kisses?

Both. From right people.

25. icecream flavour?


26. who is the most famous person you've met?

Amartya Sen.

27. one hope for the year?

I should find what I am looking for.

28. the wisest thing you’ve ever heard?

Don't remember.

29. the last time you were drunk?

Last Christmas.

30. biggest hero?

Don't wanna tell.

31. favourite colour?

Black. And Red. And Blue.

32. things you hate?

So many.

33. something precious to you?

My friends.

34. a guilty pleasure?


35. a piece of personal advice?

I loved a love once, fairest among all. You are not that.

January 20, 2009


Or people who are put in boxes.

So someone told me over lemon tarts last night. Black beans are supposed to be good for your health and eating a lean chicken breast everyday will decrease your weight. All this and more I learnt.

Andro called and we were going over the last months between the two of us. Somehow, these last months have flown by and I am officially in the fourth month of my work and have missed work for god knows how long but its okay because I am depressed anyway and its been a long day for me for quite some time now.

But what I realized was she's not changed a bit. But perhaps I have. I have changed myself and its been a continuous process for a while now. Its probably me growing up.

* * *

Someone asked me "Why are you not married?"

I answered, "Because I have found people I can live with, but no one I can live without."

It was an old quote. But I believe in it.

* * *

Randomness is perhaps the order of the day. Sometimes I wonder why is it so important to make things last and stretch beyond their limits. I was so angry a few days ago. I wrote a letter about it to friends, and I am putting up bits of it.

I watched as a guy threw his wife of 5 years out of the house while his girlfriend watched with a little smile on her face. And I had to talk to that frightened, hysterical, pathetic (yes, and i know its true, so there!) woman who took shelter with us for the night. My mother was thankfully not home. I hope this guy dies a most remarkable death one day, slowly and steadily, knowing every moment he is going to, and frightened of it. I can't think of a worse fate for him and i don't think i want to sully my thoughts by thinking of killing this fat, ugly monster. I do not care what she was to him or why he did what he did... but no woman deserves this. No Human Being to be precise.

But Do you know what she wanted? She wanted to beg her husband to come back to her. She could not believe that he was doing this to her but she wanted to beg to stay in that house, irrespective of the mistress. I was SO THANKFUL they do not have kids.

I somehow now feel quite detached about the whole incident. It has ceased to affect me. Now.

January 03, 2009

Elope with me Miss Private...

And then Chucky gave me a song that went around my head like crumbed chicken in a big vatful of lard. I have been fantasizing about KFC and its not good. I have been also fantasizing about big packets of sinful rich Valhrona which is kept with the Mother while she waits for me to get well from my sickness.

Damn it, I wish I was better already!