A Liar's Guide to the Dreams..

In the dead of the night, the dreams come in one by one. They cling to you with soft acceptance, and they know it all..

These are the dreams which leave a note of remembrance. They cling to our tongues like a bittersweet delight.

They feel familiar, though their flavour melts in the mouth... and taste distinctly unusual.

July 22, 2007

The Last Resort....

Cut my life into pieces,

This is my last resort,

Suffocation, no breathing,

Dont give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding...

-------------- Last Resort - Papa Roach

And that was the way it began. Those who don't know what I am talking about, today saw Cassini's Division play at Someplace Else for the last time. The management was quite happy with their decision of not renewing their contract, because who wants to see a bunch of people headbang and mosh and jump off speakers and throw beer bottles around and empty the ashtray over other's head?

No respectable Starry, Classy hotel does.

Today I came back from work early. I had a few things to settle before I headed for the gig. The final one. My friend M told that this would be the last, so I came to pay respect. It was something that I had to do.

It was a cold day in December 2006 when I first heard Cassini's Division play. I was at the place for barely twenty minutes, but I found myself nodding my head to the beat, and when my friend Heathcliffe came back from U.K., I went to rediscover the beat.

And I was hooked from the start, mesmerized, hypnotized by the power that lured me back each time I decided to give up. Fatal Attraction? Yes, perhaps. But somehow, the songs made me feel alive.

Dreary weary bored to death

I'm getting tired of myself

In this bleak suburban hole

Killing my soul

Gotta get away, get away

Find my way out of here

Find that cozy little place, be myself

And dream away the day at night

Disposition saturnine

Dream away my daytime life

Disposition saturnine

---------------Satyr9, Cassini's Division

I told John today... "Fireworks. There should be fireworks today." And they delivered. The world ended with a BOOM, and I was stunned....

Oh my God, the fever! It was a mess, a marvel, a miracle. It began with a little explosion of passion, and then took off from there. The place was jam-packed, all the headbangers near the speakers, and watching as the band took off from one plane and led into realms of surreality... One by one the songs took off... Voivoid, Kryptonite, Caesar, Fake, Smooth Criminal, Higher, Drowning, Story of her life.... The songs flowed.

I was stunned, shattered, weakened, aware. I watched as the show wound down to an end, and then saw Rahul da looking at us... the pride glowing like a glowworm in the night. The lights made his profile stand out sharply, he was magnificent. And what the others could not say, he said it. Music, the Saviour, the soul of beauty, the rhythm of life, the beat of orgiastic, dionysian, uncontrollable, unparalleled beauty that left one with a void, a numbness of utter bliss, where there was nothing, and that was the relief.

And I found someone shed tears because she felt the loss inside her soul; the catharsis, the calm of mind would no longer be found here. She felt the loss, and she felt lost, cast adrift in the storm of life.

And someone else was trying to laugh, to joke, to be herself, and in the end, she gave up and sought comfort in my embrace, too caught up to notice that she did not know me.

And there was someone whose grandmother was dying of cancer, and she was called off to the hospital, and when she came back, it was all over. The show was over.

And someone got hit and bled. But he lived and loved every moment.

And someone was bleeding inside. Bleeding. But he thrived in his misery, and decided to give life another chance.

And someone did not turn up because he realized he could not face the trauma of being left.

And the Jedi watched it all. And he understood, and took care of those who could not look after themselves properly.

All of us... the crowd was all the way with the group, and everyone was caught up in the rhythm, in the beat, in the music that beat against their souls, freeing them, leading them.

In the end, it did'nt matter, despite the pictures taken, and the gig schedule seen. I would miss you people. Because all of you matter. All of you, you know who you are.

And Rahulda, John, Sukantida and Ludoda.

Someplace Else to me was equivalent to Cassini's Division. Now Someplace Else is someplace else. Its a void.


Heathcliff Ranting... said...

I am Speechless....

it was bliss ..

Prasanna said...

babu what u wrote was absolutely beautiful - I loved every line and every word. A fitting tribute to a band we all love.

I'm proud of you :)

"sen"sational said...

And let's say amen to that, shall we? :)

RavenGirl said...

This post made me cry.
I still cant believe this is happening.
It really is the end of an era.

Dhruva said...

I'll miss them. :|

sandman said...

And I was just about to go there next saturday finally.....bah! I remember the incredibly tight set they played in dhanaulti.

But the music hasn't died yet.

panu said...

Heathu my love, so was I. so I wrote.

Bubuda, Thank you...

Sen -

Ravengirl, It made me cry as I wrote it...

Dhruva - So will I. Immensely.

Sandman, trust me, you do not know what you missed.

Nayantara said...

Poorna Di...

Painful, and beautiful.
These tears falling acknowledge the power of this tribute.

Love you.

panu said...

tara - me too shona.

oracle said...

awesome post!ki likhechish re!brought a tight lump to my throat.

iishh!!amar dekha holo na. :(

panu said...

I missed you there.. I would never forget the first time I properly attended a CD show, and that was with you.

Living On Video said...

"and empty the ashtray over other's head?"

I so agree with that statement. :(

Just when I thought, I'll come back to Cal, in Jan and catch them all over again, shit! :( :(

I miss them, all so much.

panu said...

well, you can always check them out at princeton club when they play. dont worry they'll be there.

sandman said...

Finally caught a gig with them today in most unexpected circumstances....just sound so sweet.

panu said...

i know... they are fabulous....