A Liar's Guide to the Dreams..

In the dead of the night, the dreams come in one by one. They cling to you with soft acceptance, and they know it all..

These are the dreams which leave a note of remembrance. They cling to our tongues like a bittersweet delight.

They feel familiar, though their flavour melts in the mouth... and taste distinctly unusual.

January 25, 2008

You again!

So what if one day I look into your eyes and see nothing but friendship? I can and do live with it. Even if I know that inside I am being smothered by that friendship, I can never tell you what you mean to me and how much I need you or silly things like that which comes between you and me.

You know, that is the problem. We are similar people who are afraid of each other. Afraid? No no. Wary is more like it. We move around the topic, skirt around the game, but we both know one day its going to be out.

And I know you can't handle the truth so why don't you sit on your pretty ass and smile back? Why take those moments to watch me (and I know when you watch me when you think I am not aware) and then pretend nothing is up? Why make those moments of non-performance with me? Why?

I want to tear you apart and see what you are inside. I want to chew your guts and ingest them. I want to make you such a part of me that you won't know where I begin and you end.

But I won't.

Because for my life, I shall never tell you what you are and how much you mean to me. Even after what we have done. Even after this whole mess.

I won't. Just you see. You were different once. Now you are not. Now you are not.


PI said...

I only popped in to say hi!
Love the photo:)

panu said...

heh. thankyou.

running wildly said...

Panu, thank you for the comment on my blog. I truly appreciate your honesty. It must be beyond frustrating to pray and never see any change or an answer. I wouldn't blame you at all if you just stopped praying all together. I mean, what's the point then, right?!

The God I pray to promises to answer. He is a God of kindness, compassion and love. He is very clear that He wishes to bless us. That includes everyone....and you. If you pray to the God I pray to, I can with all confidence say you'll see results. Guaranteed.

Brom said...

Wow, that sounds a lot cleverer than going on about milk. I'll keep reading and try and keep up. :-)

panu said...

@ running wildly - I know He wishes to bless Us. Thats why I think negative and find positive things happening to me. :D

@ Brom - trust me. This is like rant rant rant on my blog. You please go to drawing board and chalk up plans for world domination.

WHAT'S IN A NAME ? said...

I have fire in my veins for now.
Don’t test me with your lies.
Let me run in wilderness.
Let my tears flow out late.
Let my soul get drenched in rain
Let me smell the grass.

I know your love flows same for all.
But you know I crave for more
You hold me like a child in arms
You spurn me with a serene smile.
You kiss me gently like the breeze
And glide past me like time.

I feel like killing all like you.
Who know not how to love.
To possess your soul for once
And know your mind at leisure.
What secrets it would yield me then
The very thought gives pleasure.

WHAT'S IN A NAME ? said...

eitaa onek aagey lekhaa. eipost-tar saathey perfectly fit kore money holo.... taai likhe dilum. :)

ashaa kori dhrishtotaa noy.

panu said...

bhishon shundor answer. thank you. I can look at it and see another lost poet. Dhrishtota? na na ami ta dekhchhi na.

WHAT'S IN A NAME ? said...


:: Clouds :: said...

Now-a-days it's as if people are posting my feelings on their blogs.

Iiishhh! We are all so similar!

Plus, ei sheethkaal e brishti..makes things worse,nah?

Anonymous said...

"Because for my life, I shall never tell you what you are and how much you mean to me."- I have similar feelings for some people

panu said...

clouds - we all have our head in the clouds ajkaal.

And well, amar sheetkaler brishti besh laage. I like walking in the rain.

inihos - Some people. Some people, na?