Expanse of Spirit.

Or something that attracts the spirit and sends the soul off to far away, distant places, know, that it is I who am.

It is me who still remain here.

Dearest friend,

I have made mistakes, I have pretended. I am guilty of my sins. But ever since I pretended, and I made mistakes, I became dearer to you, so would you not love me because my mistakes and my pretenses made me come to you and look at you behind your mistakes, and your pretenses? Maybe you can forgive those random thoughts, those silly comments because you cannot bear to see my hidden face anymore?

Maybe I am merely putting myself up for folly. One laughs at the enigmatic speeches I make and pretend they do not know what I speak of. But I know here what I speak of. I speak of the faraway spirits which embalms you in the middle of the day with their vapid presence. I speak of the forgotten who was left inside the dank, dreary skin while you hid.

I speak of all the random places I have seen, talked to, and touched a little part of 'THAT' who speaks to you in your head.

And here I end, leaving on a note of nothing beautiful, nothing glorious.

Ek Haseena Thi....

I love the film. Karz. NO NOT WITH THE MULTIPLE 'Z' Starring a certain Nasal Man. He did not do justice to a masterpiece that was Subhash Ghai at his best. Rishi Kapoor at his full glory.

"Mere Umar Kee.... Naujawano..."

I used to love that song. It was such a power trip for me. I saw that movie at "Santosh" Cinema when I was 6. I think, the second ever movie that I saw on big screen. That film had run there for 39 weeks when it was first released, and then, it was re-run 10 years later, when I saw it. House was still FULL. People were dancing when the songs came up. Everyone sang the parody of Dard-E-Dil with relish...

"Pehle toh main shayar tha,

Shuor banaya apne."

And then they saw everything, mesmerised. They loved the people who watched and whooped and sang with them. Its such a powerful film, well-made and well-thought out. It made the absurd storyline seem normal. And Simi Garewal. Oh Simi. You were so Beautiful. I never did like you when you shed fake tears and daintily wiped them off in your talk show. But there... I was in love with you. Six years of age.

I wanted her. Not Miss Tandoori Nights.

Disclaimer: I am yet to see the Karzzz with lotz of "Z".I am biased because I love Simi Garewal. I will be seeing the movie again shortly. And I shall love it. As usual.

Dated.

Delusion and dreams. That is what is there. But its all about existence. Maybe existence is a dream. Or a delusion. Or maybe its a certainty. I am pretty non-committal that way.

Speaking of delusions, I believe randomness is delusion's hold to sanctity and sanity. What say you?

You believe otherwise. Or you might not.

And when...

You think you have seen it all, and then something happens.

In this life, something always happens. Even Nothing is perhaps Something. Let us not go into that equation. My blog, which has recently become quite didactic and frenetic (and let us not forget, hectic to read up and remember) is pretty fine. Random people are shifting their blogs to random portals, but I am loyal to blogger. I Blog. Therefore I is. Otherwise I Iz probably.

So where was I? Oh this is a Pujo post. And a post to acknowledge that tomorrow my best friend is celebrating her 24th birthday. Chu, I love you. Even when you're older. Its life. I'm old too. Look look. I'm old and I'm wearing daring jama and all.

Other news: I love Ganges Bank. It is beautiful to trail the sky's blooming blue at five o'clock in the morning, and watch someone taking a dip into the water that supposedly emerged from Shiva's Knot of Hair. I sometimes read up the myths, and I always think... What it took those people to create and believe these explanations to phenomenons before they understood it fully.


japakusuma shankasam

kaashyapeya mahadyutim

tamohrim sarvapapaghna

pranohtasmi diwaakaraha

I wish I could explain to you how I remember myself at three, learning this simple surya shloka with my grandmother who made me look at the early morning sun. She told me not to be afraid of the giant ball of fire... it gives us life, and destroys evil.

Maybe thats why I have become a nightcrawler.