Base of This Beast

I used to love running when I was a kid.

It was one of the things I was good at.

Then came asthma, rattling coughs and wheezes, and those moments of the wind tearing through my hair stopped.

I love car rides. I can put my head out of the window and watch the world rush by.

I wanted to run. Once. Away away away.

But then, there was that asthma again.

Sometimes I wonder if I hide behind it or not.

Sometimes I know I do. Not sure of the certainties of it all.

And there's this part, and I know I would love to run again. But what to do when my will to run is lost? What to do when I realize that this whole time I was wishing to run, I was trying to talk myself in circles and coming back to where I came from?

Something is wrong here. Something is wrong.

This road wasn't supposed to circle. It was supposed to open out. Where did I go wrong?