Other things Kept Mum

This is a tale about a girl who tried to kill herself. And in order to kill herself she decided to create poison at home. Needless to say, I was asked by this idiot, "What is the strongest brand of cigarette that makes you cough up?". I said, after a slight bit of contemplation: "I will tell you later."

Now she had not told me what she was going to do with the cigarettes, did she? Naturally, I told her the brand that I thought was the cheapest, most disgusting and irritatingly filled with more sawdust than the real thing.

Had she told me she wanted to create pure nicotine and eat it to die I would have said something otherwise. But people do not specify nowadays.

I am really sorry M. For me, you had to puke out everything you had eaten for the last few weeks, and you are still burping nicotine. Or what is nicotine flavored sawdust.

And I still cannot believe you mixed it with Horlicks.

But oh well, if you had seen your face when you had the first bite off that Pizza which I got you for being alive. It was a moment to look out for.

The Dithyrambos.

I’m dying. It’s a slow death that happens to you, and in this case you wither. You lack, you feel the need to fight but then again, the spirit seems to be outside, forcing you to back down, to cower, to lie down and let your last breath slip away from you. Here, I would not come up and quote Mar-- any Spanish magic realist, and let you know the sorrow I feel. No, I don’t want to pretend, like so many others do, who pass off their own ideas as their grandmothers’ oldest tricks, or tell the world that I am okay. I am not. Not okay. And it is alright for me to admit that. The hurt, the pain and the bitterness is all there. And it does not go away anytime soon. So if you want to believe that it would, then go away from this place and find the happy happy girl with a happy happy world. This world speaks of the unspeakable sadness that is currently coursing through me, and is lost for an outlet.

Death is upon me. Pass me the dirge and a bottle of rum.