The last post

was a mistake. And when I return after 3 days, I will explain why.

vbI should be studying. I should be taking rest. I should be doing anything but write profitlessly on my sequence of sameness. Why is it that the words keep on flowing?? Why does the vacuam grow inside my self when I am staring aimlessly in the depths of the night, thinking of nothing else but...?

I love you. SO cliched. So boring. So like the gazillions of other people who have thought, said, and done it so many different languages, but never ever has they understood proper what LOVE really is, because its the very same people who have suffered the shadow between the essence of love and its dissent into language. So no, I won't be telling you all about that.

So what is the purpose of this post???

Well, yesterday I saw the person I thought I loved six months ago. And I felt nothing. Nothing.

So there. End of the story. The thoughts have died and so have my will to write. I am sending over a poem I wrote 5 months ago. You all who read it are free to make comments.

Need

When we were inside
And we were pulling and pusihing
Tearing apart with indecent haste
The vestiges of our senses,
Pouring deep inside
The tiny vortex that lay
Suddenly trembling,
Then, then was the time
When all stilled. All made
The sound of silence.
And we stilled as well,
Holding each other as the dawn filtered in.
And I knew the need that binds you to me.

Of Marriages and MayhemS - the conclushun

So the ordeal is finally over. Panu is back to her semester exams because Gata and Mrs Gata are off to the hills of Gangtok for the Luna de Miel (honeymoon), eating momo and a supply of the never finishing Ramen.



By the way, the Noodles are called KOKA instant noodles and they come in different flavours, like Singapore stir fried, curry, pepper crab, Chicken Satay, Tom Yam Goong, et cetera)

The Ramen is basically passed off to our place, since neither my aunt nor anyone else is interested in what they called Bideshi Maggi (foreign Maggi).

Incidentally, Gata calls Mrs Gata Saitani Magi (not to be confused with the aforementioned, this means “devilish slut-equivalent”).

Well, where were we??

Oh yes. Umm, do you people realize how many incidents have been happening through the last two posts. JAP told me that MayhemS are like LuggageS, bad English. But I have to use it. Its been like a few days of mini turbulence that has got to me pretty bad. My generally peaceful existence is traumatically tortured, what Babelfish might describe as a whirlpool in her fishbowl. She too is a fellow sufferer. I remember telling Rimi to quit with the marriage trauma bits somewhere in January, if I recall correctly. I hereby beg forgiveness, because I can UNDERSTAND the totality of the sense of being turned upside down, inside out.

Background music : Bismillah Khan er Shehnai, or Stacey's mom By Weezer. Or Snoop Dogg's Drop it like its Hot. Whatever!!


OK people, here is a lovely pic from the wedding. Its my Mum. Isn’t she tall??

This was of the Gaye-Holud (icky turmeric-applying ceremony on the wedding day).

She's the tallest of the lot.

And the only one whose face is showing here properly.

Beside her is the Hyderabadian Aunt, with the yellow saree.



Yep. Tall. That's why I always wanted height, to look nose-to-nose and say, “I’m going out.”

And the Hyderabadians left on 14th, a day before my semester exams began.

Well, meanwhile, the sister’s been a real sport and let me cut her hair… only the front, of course. Well, basically, when it comes to cutting hair, I am a bit like Phoebe in Friends. Its like, I can easily be distracted or misdirected. My sister wanted her hair cut like Kagome in INUYASHA.

SO I began.

With the half-blunt pair of scissors in one hand and comb in the other, Panu went for it. It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it!

SO I took a deep breath and snipped.

Ok. Nice going, the side was ok. Now for the center.

As soon as I cut off a little lock, Meg is like… “Oi, What are you doing??”

I weathered that silently.

M – DIDI!! Beshi katish naaa!! (don’t cut too much!!)

P – Fine!! ( Aside: Bitch!!)

M – OI, Oi!! OIOIOI!!!

P – Uff!! Dara!! (Wait!!)

At this time meg does a sudden shimmy. Panu is left holding a little chunk of silky 11-year old hair.

Whoops!!

M – Oi, tui ki korechhish? (What have you done??)

This was followed by an outraged scream (EEEEKkkkk!!!!!) in front of the mirror, followed by AAAAARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!

Well, for those who are interested to know, the result was not pretty. Ma gave me a sound talk (MOTHERS!! They cant even take a leetle mistake gracefully) and Meg doing the famous Beat-Scheme.

Its like this:

Meg & Me are having a fight. Meg hits. Panu hits right back (deserving little runt!!).

Meg hits back immediately followed by a rush of :

Asobbho, Ulluk, Paaji, Gadha, Chhuncho, Rascal, Honuman, Goru ……… MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA DEKHO NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA DIIIIDIIIII AMAKE MARCHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE {Uncivilized, Raccoon (it may be wrong... I can't find a proper English eqivalent for this one), Sadist, Donkey, Rat, Rascal, Monkey, Cow…………… MAAAAAAAAAAA Look Sister is beating me up!!!}

Ma enters. After a few solid slaps delivered to Panu asks, “Ki hoyechhilo bol!!” (Now tell me what happened!!)

So you see, the sister’s better off somewhere else. PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEAAASEEE someone TAKE HER AWAAY!! I'll even throw in a supply of Ramen.

Of MarriageS and MayhemS

The Saga Continues…

So then the day before wedding arrives, and we were all very happy for finally getting rid of our 26-year old BIG, SPINSTER SISTER who Married for Love. Ma and other Aunts & Uncles suitably gasped and choked when they came to know this 3 years ago when Rinidi declared she had no intention of making a match with any handsome doctor since she had Sougata dada who loved her. Unfortunately, love and marriage did not mix.

First, the Astrologer predicted a suitably horrible end for Sougata dada if he married before he turned 28.

Result, DELAY!!

Second, the biyebaris (marriage-houses) nearby were full on 10th of December. Since that was the only time last year when Sougata Dada was not abroad, well you can guess what the result was again.

Yep, DELAY again!!

Third, on February, when Sougata dada (from now on mentioned as Gata) was in town, Rinidi’s Ma declared the royal NO because Suman, Rinidi’s younger brother had exams.

Therefore, the wedding was set on May 1, 2006. MAY DAY!! MAY DAY!!

On 30th April the Aiburobhat for Rinidi was set. Aiburobhat s are big things for us original EastBengalis (which means we are originally from East of Bengal, now called Bangladesh, and we support the Football team East Bengal), and Rinidi’s was no exception. The feast was set lavishly for 73 people, including the drivers and photographers. We all helped in serving, and looking after, as in “bhalo kore khachho to??” (Are you eating properly?) Or “ar ektu mangsho… na korle sunchhi na.” (A bit more meat, and I wont take no for an answer), and food went off the plate to the mouth in the blink of an eye.

Then we danced off the night, doing an inpromptu cha-cha-cha with Chandrabindoo, and me and tinni did a little lesbian Salsa with Kishore Kumar and Item songs. Fun began when everybody, including grandparents began dancing.

* * *

Meanwhile, a new force has joined the Hyderabadians from hell. My cousin from down under (i.e. Australia), and his parents have come down specially for the wedding, and wonder of wonders, what have they brought for us from Kangaroo Land??

Packets of Koka instant noodles. Lots of them. 140 to be exact.

When asked WHY??? They replied, “toder sakolke biyer breakfast eta diye karabo bhebechhilam” (we thought we would feed you all with this as a wedding breakfast)

*Incidentally those who are shuddering at a Ramen Wedding breakfast, let me assure you, for Indians, the breakfast is not the feast. The feast begins at night, before/while/after the bride & groom gets married*

I would have understood chocolates, but Ramen?

Meanwhile, the Hyderabadian Hulk made comments…

Panu comes fresh out of shower, a Dhundhul scrub in her hand that was used to scrub her body off dirt and dead cells.

*Incidentally, the dhundhul is the fruit of the dhundhul plant, containing seeds within, and looks slightly like a giant cucumber, brownish cream in colour.*

Hyderabadian Hulk – Uff P di, you look hot…

Panu(perplexed and bewildered, looks downwards at her generously proportioned bod)- where??

H H – oi, tomar haate eta ki?? (Oi, what’s in your hand?)

P – err… chhobra… ? (er, scrub…?)

H H – O. ami Dildo bhebechhilam. (Oh, I thought it was a dildo)

Panu cringes. Yes, that Panu who never thought she could flinch from anything, actually shudders as she thinks of her body being brutally scrubbed by a Dildo look alike.

* * *

And then the night came for Rinidi, looking suitably radiant for all of her 5’ no inches, 77 kg body that was hefted up by not two, not three, but six men to go 7 times round Gata’s 5’6”- 55 kg frame before she revealed her face for Shubhodrishti (charmed gazing of bride and groom).

And then there was the Madhuri Dixit ishtyle shoe stealing, that has been a part of Indian weddings ever since the movie, Hum Aapke Hai Kaun. In this case, it was a shoe-robbery, when one of my sisters tore her shoe, sat and threw me a single shoe, and told me to run. I ran, ignoring my jewel pink saree and 3-inch high stilettos and threw it to a brother, who threw it to another sister who ran. Meanwhile, old men & women from the groom’s side raised a ruckus (sore losers that they were!!), and Gata trapped Rinidi behind closed doors and said, ”Juto ferot dao, bou ferot pabe.”(return shoes and take back the bride)

And then Panu went to DA RESCUE. Amitabh style, she crashed through the semi-closed bathroom door into the room, and before Gata’s very eye, and bewildered “eki!! eki!!s (What’s happening!! What’s happening!!), the whole Baashor (post-wedding night staying awake ceremony) party came in, and settled down. Gata did not take the defeat gracefully, settling into a sullen silence. But we made masti (fun) all night long, singing, dancing and Dumb Charading.

In short, the wedding night was done when we got the fruits of our labour, Rs 5000 from Gata in the morning and a promise to a treat at Barista.

Lovely Wedding, hmmmm??