A Liar's Guide to the Dreams..

In the dead of the night, the dreams come in one by one. They cling to you with soft acceptance, and they know it all..

These are the dreams which leave a note of remembrance. They cling to our tongues like a bittersweet delight.

They feel familiar, though their flavour melts in the mouth... and taste distinctly unusual.

May 18, 2006

Of Marriages and MayhemS - the conclushun

So the ordeal is finally over. Panu is back to her semester exams because Gata and Mrs Gata are off to the hills of Gangtok for the Luna de Miel (honeymoon), eating momo and a supply of the never finishing Ramen.

By the way, the Noodles are called KOKA instant noodles and they come in different flavours, like Singapore stir fried, curry, pepper crab, Chicken Satay, Tom Yam Goong, et cetera)

The Ramen is basically passed off to our place, since neither my aunt nor anyone else is interested in what they called Bideshi Maggi (foreign Maggi).

Incidentally, Gata calls Mrs Gata Saitani Magi (not to be confused with the aforementioned, this means “devilish slut-equivalent”).

Well, where were we??

Oh yes. Umm, do you people realize how many incidents have been happening through the last two posts. JAP told me that MayhemS are like LuggageS, bad English. But I have to use it. Its been like a few days of mini turbulence that has got to me pretty bad. My generally peaceful existence is traumatically tortured, what Babelfish might describe as a whirlpool in her fishbowl. She too is a fellow sufferer. I remember telling Rimi to quit with the marriage trauma bits somewhere in January, if I recall correctly. I hereby beg forgiveness, because I can UNDERSTAND the totality of the sense of being turned upside down, inside out.

Background music : Bismillah Khan er Shehnai, or Stacey's mom By Weezer. Or Snoop Dogg's Drop it like its Hot. Whatever!!

OK people, here is a lovely pic from the wedding. Its my Mum. Isn’t she tall??

This was of the Gaye-Holud (icky turmeric-applying ceremony on the wedding day).

She's the tallest of the lot.

And the only one whose face is showing here properly.

Beside her is the Hyderabadian Aunt, with the yellow saree.

Yep. Tall. That's why I always wanted height, to look nose-to-nose and say, “I’m going out.”

And the Hyderabadians left on 14th, a day before my semester exams began.

Well, meanwhile, the sister’s been a real sport and let me cut her hair… only the front, of course. Well, basically, when it comes to cutting hair, I am a bit like Phoebe in Friends. Its like, I can easily be distracted or misdirected. My sister wanted her hair cut like Kagome in INUYASHA.

SO I began.

With the half-blunt pair of scissors in one hand and comb in the other, Panu went for it. It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it!

SO I took a deep breath and snipped.

Ok. Nice going, the side was ok. Now for the center.

As soon as I cut off a little lock, Meg is like… “Oi, What are you doing??”

I weathered that silently.

M – DIDI!! Beshi katish naaa!! (don’t cut too much!!)

P – Fine!! ( Aside: Bitch!!)

M – OI, Oi!! OIOIOI!!!

P – Uff!! Dara!! (Wait!!)

At this time meg does a sudden shimmy. Panu is left holding a little chunk of silky 11-year old hair.


M – Oi, tui ki korechhish? (What have you done??)

This was followed by an outraged scream (EEEEKkkkk!!!!!) in front of the mirror, followed by AAAAARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!

Well, for those who are interested to know, the result was not pretty. Ma gave me a sound talk (MOTHERS!! They cant even take a leetle mistake gracefully) and Meg doing the famous Beat-Scheme.

Its like this:

Meg & Me are having a fight. Meg hits. Panu hits right back (deserving little runt!!).

Meg hits back immediately followed by a rush of :

Asobbho, Ulluk, Paaji, Gadha, Chhuncho, Rascal, Honuman, Goru ……… MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA DEKHO NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA DIIIIDIIIII AMAKE MARCHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE {Uncivilized, Raccoon (it may be wrong... I can't find a proper English eqivalent for this one), Sadist, Donkey, Rat, Rascal, Monkey, Cow…………… MAAAAAAAAAAA Look Sister is beating me up!!!}

Ma enters. After a few solid slaps delivered to Panu asks, “Ki hoyechhilo bol!!” (Now tell me what happened!!)

So you see, the sister’s better off somewhere else. PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEAAASEEE someone TAKE HER AWAAY!! I'll even throw in a supply of Ramen.


good morning, midnight said...

aha re. bodo didi hobar onek dukkho. aar tor ma'ke khanik durga-thakruner moto dekhte. no wonder you're tall.

panu said...

hyan, maake dugga dugga dekhte bote, young boyeshe daksaite sundori chhilo. Ekhon ektu tan kheye gechhe. tobuo, bhadramohila 5'7". Kono maane hoy??

tor mimita to besh mishti re, tor ar dukkho ki??

rainbeau_peep said...

ei jonyo u should stick to accosting people in the middle of the road with ur make up box and demanding that they let u paint their nails. the head is just too sophisticated an area to meddle with.

panu said...

I swear Peeps, you are absuh-lootly correct here. Heads!! They are fine unless they turn in the wackiest ways...

Ron said...

Younger sisters are painful creatures and should be Disciplined regularly...its for their own good. But cutting hair is a bit too drastic and ambitious isnt it? Your sister actually let you cut her hair? Mine doesnt even let me paint her toenails. What a trusting little child your sis seems to be.

panu said...

Heh! Trusting1! Trust me, she did it as an investment. Her vacation is on, and she did this to blackmail me from this day forward. I am doomed. Already, i have near on 320 bucks on her... and she says this is the beginning

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

Ulluk is actually the hoolock gibbon, not a raccoon. Iirc, only ape natural to the Indian subcontinent.


panu said...

thankest thee for the definition, JAP.