One Hundredth Post

Nothing too fancy.

Its been quite a long time.

And I have been confined within the words.

Ah well.

Hop on.

So what was on my list again?

Oh yes, my days. The butt ends that remain of it are quite calm actually. I have forgotten how it was when a certain someone would make nasty comments and watch me suffer, I have forgotten the unsuspecting "Tag" that someone would unerringly put on me.

Now I have become very mental. This room sort of does that to me. Its around 10 x 12 feet and it really kills me sometimes though it has 7 windows that are kept open all day.

Its the nights I dread most of the times. I remember everything then.

But I have fun too. I fail to see Britney Spears waving back at me from a mirror or read too many fanfics and have nightmares.... but I do things that make me laugh. Here I must tell you that I have finished reading a few books that I always wanted to read but did not have the time... and they are bleddy awesome... including Jeanette Winterson's Tanglewreck and Kenilworth Whisp's Quidditch Through the Ages. Someone please send me a copy of Pratchett's Making Money and I will be eternally grateful.


And I am officially in a relationship. With two men. Who have devoted themselves to me. Thank You Dhruva and Swayam, you two make me feel like I can do something once I get off this room.


And no, I do NOT require a shrink, or a therapist. Its all good.

Its this room I tell you. Should not have let the Mother clean it. Now I cant find a single thing and all my stuffs are in Packets and in Racks....

Soil

I hear Gunshots.

Everything outside is dark and wet because the rain has soaked the November dust tonight and there I hear Gunshots.


It is a lone shot at first.

It is followed by a series of them.

I run to the balcony to see.

Where is it coming from? I wonder.... Where.

Then from the darkness I see two shades moving away from me, and one dark heap lying on the ground.

I run downstairs, open my door and run to the heap.

It is another person. It is another person who is now dead.

I do not know him. But he is dead.

Dead


I walk away. He is already dead and it is dark and wet here. I fear for myself. I will come back, I promise. Tomorrow. When ants would make holes on your eyelid to tear at your dead cornea. They like the sound of the tearing flesh when they make a steady attempt to demolish you with their comrades...

But you have made the first sacrifice. From here, the ants will come back, but they will not be able to eat you up. We will see to it. We will take you away and let you be in peace. The ants shall sample other bodies too, but we will try to salvage them before they get those bodies.

And then I shall trample the ants under my shod foot and kill them all. The ones who can run away will run away. I will stare at my mess and laugh at their death.

But for now, I leave. Let me go... I promise I shall be back.

Sitaron se sajaake....

And there was a day when I saw you smile, confusion and love waging a battle between them, and you sniffed and then absorbed the tears and gave me a hug. Because you loved me.

And another day, you walked in front of a running car for me, and scolded me for being self-indulgent in misery, and you loved me too.

Yet another day you told me you loved me, overcoming all the barriers you have set around yourself.

And another day, you held my hand, kissed it, and told me about the miseries of the world within you, and then you sought relief because you loved me.


Haoay haoay..... haoay haoay.... Bondhu tomay.... e gaan shonabo....


Ei raat tomar amar.... ei chaand tomar aamar.....


Maine tere liye hi saat rang ke sapne chune.... sapne suriley sapne....


Zindagi kaisi ye paheli haaye..... Kabhi ye hasaaye, Kabhi ye...........................




Tanha dil, tanha safar, dhundey tujhe, phir kyun nazar

Autumn-Cleaning

Dudes and dudettes who visit my blog ever so seldom, I hereby declare I have quit my job. I am, as of now, UNEMPLOYED.


Uh-Oh.


Ah well, I'll look for something else. I am going to. I swear.

Just not now.

The other day I was on a spree..... cleaning spree. And I was going through the junk that I have in my room, that most of my friends declare being Uber-comfy, apart from the great Chu, who begins cleaning within a mile of my room, and I end up losing everything that I have in the room..... Ah the pains of having a girl who loves me but does not love my mess!

Anyway, I revised on what I got myself with the salary I have.... have to analyze it because I have Quit it, and I need a replacement job fast, because Time's a-wasting. Butbutbut.... good news!! I have time to burn, and I have decided to learn how to drive my car.


Um, have you watched Speed? Sandra Bullock?? Let me tell you, I do not intend to drive my car like that. I just want to drive it....

Cars scare me. Like needles. I always wanted a tattoo. Like I wanted to donate blood. But let me tell you, you're watching that needle....that needle that went inside you once and pulled out some blood, go into you GOD-KNOWS-HOW-MANY times inside your skin.

Excuse me while I faint now.

Anyway, so I am left with unemployment, and I know that is going to be a problem soon enough, but hey, what was that Python song again?


Life's a piece of shit.... when you look at it.

For me, probably a piece of shit with a lipstick stuffed in it. With a piece of raw, scraped bone to top.

Sorry, impolite imagery. But have to vent that out sometimes when I realize that it was someone else's problem that eventually got me out of the job I have now. And the worst bit is, I can't do anything. Its all in the rulebook. And I have to follow it.