Discord

I search in silence,
Again and again
Looking deep down
Trying to
Understand
What or who is it
Who holds the key
To the lock.
I search in vain,
Knowing
That one day
That will come
To me,
And stay with me
For the rest of my life.

You're not the one
I am
Sorry to see
You go.

But you are really
Not the one I have
Been looking for
All these days.
Thats why I can
See you leave
Dispassionately
Staring at your pale face
And barely hiding
The bile
That rises from my belly to
My throat,
Making me shiver
And shake
Furiously
With my disgust.

And I watch you leave
I do not
Raise my head
As I hear the door
Clicking shut, softly.
The locks turn,
Close
And then the sound
Of Silence.

And everything has sobered down
To a Bare shiver of awareness,
With which I once again
Move forward,
Watching, waiting
Moving on
Cautiously
Testing the waters
And slowly
Giving in
To the sights and sounds that
Drown me everyday.

(C) P.B. 2005