A Liar's Guide to the Dreams..

In the dead of the night, the dreams come in one by one. They cling to you with soft acceptance, and they know it all..

These are the dreams which leave a note of remembrance. They cling to our tongues like a bittersweet delight.

They feel familiar, though their flavour melts in the mouth... and taste distinctly unusual.

December 17, 2005

A long Nostalgic Night

The letters slide drunkenly across my keyboard as I try to type the right stuffs.

After a long time, dad and I had a mano-I-mano over a pint of vodka and 6 Bacardi breezers. And since I am drunk(well, almost drunk... you know those times when you know partially that what you're doing is WRONG but too out of control to stop anything that you have started) this blog is not, I repeat, NOT Panu speaking... just a drunken old fool who is feeling depressed over being alive, and trying to come to terms with all that plague her sordid little days. The depression is for the obvious reason... exams. And hey, nonny nonny, its my anniversary!!!

On this day, two years ago, I made a fool of myself over someone not worth dripping over the carpets. I fell in that abyss of cliches that everyone hope to fall into at least once in their lifetime.

And yes, the end was not pretty.

And I still thought you would come to me. And the girl you love is studying with me, and to watch her everyday is a constant reminder of my foolishness... of what I can never have and she rejected. And I feel so guilty at times... of being such a two-faced hypocrite.

And I know that what you meant to me will evetually be a memory baby. But I can still feel the wounds that will not heal. They are softly digging further and further in me, and I can't get out of this godawful mess that I have made.

And it is all my fault, for I Just can't let you go. And all I do is miss you... though I know that the time was wrong.
P.S. Please readers, call it an exam-pression(can be both exam+expression or exam+depression... choose your call).. And this thing that I just wrote is just a dream, forget it after you finish reading.


Anonymous said...

Excellent, love it!
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panu said...


thank you.