A Liar's Guide to the Dreams..

In the dead of the night, the dreams come in one by one. They cling to you with soft acceptance, and they know it all..

These are the dreams which leave a note of remembrance. They cling to our tongues like a bittersweet delight.

They feel familiar, though their flavour melts in the mouth... and taste distinctly unusual.


December 20, 2007

Tis that Time of the Year Again...

For those who are unaware, let me tell you, I. HATE. CHRISTMAS. Mother Mary Made a Mistake. We are paying for it.

Woteva.

I know. I sound mean and nonreligious and is probably fit to be tied and hung by the thumb or even worse parts of my anatomy... a shiver runs through my body by the very mention of those kind of stuff.

Ah well. The other day I realized that this world is pretty messed up and all around us food is being wasted while people out in Purulia are dying because they do not have anything to eat.

Woteva.

I mean, who cares? Do you? Do I? Do we care if we know that street girls are raped by men at the age of 4 and most of the times it is their fathers who do that? Do we care if we Learn that .... Oh, in Sonagachi, there are nearly ten thousand sex workers out of whom around 70% are underage?

Woteva.

And here we sit in the sty of our contentment and drink rum and sing songs and dont really care even if we realize that someone out there is sitting by a little fire made with old newspapers and cardboard pieces gathered from gutterside and nodding his head in silent approval of some rhyme that is all in his head.

And winter is upon us.

Woteva.


And someone out there is working, hunched over, trying to fix a broken carburettor for ten rupees at the end of the hour, so that his little boy can have a piece of Christmas cake at the end of the day.

My days and ways are losing focus. I wander through the city's belly and look around. In some corner I find a group of men snorting brown sugar and laughing out loud.... Their nasal laughs turn my stomach as I pass them and they pass comments.

And the old bookshop I used to go to whenever I hit College Street is gone. Street fights got the old man who ran it killed. Its being turned into a Engineering Books stall.

Season : Winter.

Time : Yuletide.



Its the time. It is flying away now. I hope this too shall pass.

19 comments:

Bubbles of FireWhisky said...

sigh... i hate christmas 2... bt i enjoyed it bk home... i used 2 volunteer @ d local leper colony in siliguri wid my dad... ovr hr i volunteer @ a nite scool... bt dey'r shutting it dwn... lack f funding, they said...

Shreya said...

I really love Christmas,but really I get this same feeling too of guilt and nothingness...ah well,not that I ever do anything to help anyone.Meh.

panu said...

@bubbles - well er, I am kind of mad at the world as of now.

Sim - shona you make it a better place just by being there.

Sam said...

ur angst... takes me back to wer i belong... or rather who i really am... i'm never part of any celebration because somehow i've been able to make peace with my affluence.. neither can i live without my current comforts...
it was last night, dat i was talking to a frnd of mine wen we learnt of a horrific incident in UP wer a 14 yr old lost all 4 limbs after coming in contact with a 100Kv cable left out in the open... the kids future snatched away.. will the UP electricty board ensure his future?? nopes.. just leave him to deal with that.. and der we were expressing our anger..w en it struck dats all we do at the end of the day.. why????

panu said...

Thats It! Nobody cares!! NoBODY!!

rOhit said...

U hate Christmas, coz we are celebrating and those whom u mentioned are struggling hard to breathe. I agree, but then why hate Christmas in particular. You should hate each moment which you spend laughing and sharing bliss. Coz even in those moments, the "pain" which you mentioned isnt getting off.

Its true NOBODY cares, and that sums up you n me also. So what do you wanna do? Stop living, and cry coz few others are doing the same. You know for me, the biggest thing in world which make me feel weak and helpless is "poverty". I just cant stand it. But then what do we need to do? Digging out zillions of such cases and howling NO ONE cares, and hating "Christmas"? Is that a solution?

If you can do something go ahead. If not, why blame a festive season. See honestly I aint too much of a religionists, but its just a way to make others have some better moments in life. You get to know that there are so many sex workers n blah blah and you come across such extreme case beggars, but thers LOT more pain in the world, which you dont even have an iota of idea.

rOhit said...

I still want to write more, but I am running short of time. :(

rainbeau_peep said...

uhm. darling, i hate to break this to u, but u drink rum and sing songs every weekend. why blame christmas? why not hate durga pujo, or any other celebration then? it's really about some people's beliefs and one should respect that. hunger and poverty and drug abuse and prostitution will not go away with our not celebrating christmas. there are other ways of doing our bit than this ... i'm sorry, i can only call it self-aggrandisement.

panu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
panu said...

Rohit and Peep - you just dont know what I have seen these last few days, and yes, this is a reaction. I hate winter. Can I NOT rant without people butting in and telling me where to get off? Its my blog and IWANNARANT.

*pout pout*

Yes when its all said and done, I hate christmas. I dont know why. Its psychological probably. Ten years from now, I shall be cracking up over this with my shrink.

panu said...

AND ROHIT, No the Hate christmas is a long AGO thing... from my other blog...

http://grinchytimes.blogspot.com

And no I dont hate christmas because of the reasons given here. they are just whats been happening.

rOhit said...

You can scribble anything you want. Coz of the basic fact, YES it is YOUR blog after all. So even if you rant you hate me. I'll just have my right to put my views. And thats what i did. No intentional hurt or stuff. :)

I can understand what made you jot it down. You know I feel the same, but I dont write coz if someone comes up with such a comment like i did here, then I would really be numb to answer it.

And moreover while posting the comment, I was going thru some already quite pissed up stage, so maybe the angst got shown here a bit. Apologize for the puke. :)

panu said...

No apologies required. I am depressed and it shows when I write. Shit, I cant even try to be sarcastic nowadays, coz its too big a deal for me....


*Sigh*. I'm growing old.

WHAT'S IN A NAME ? said...

A dark and timely reminder. But, 'the grinch' in you is thoughtful of other's needs and worries. And thats whats welcome.

For this season, call yourself:

Santa's envy, Satan's pride.

:)

panu said...

satan's pride?

OMG you are a mind reader!!

WHAT'S IN A NAME ? said...

I am. :)

Merry X-mas!

p.s- Got ur blog linked at mine. U mind ?

panu said...

no no. go ahead.

its thy x-mas.... have it your way.

WHAT'S IN A NAME ? said...

Dhonnobaad! :)

panu said...

:P